


INSANITY- Lucifer X Reader

by MorningstarGabriella



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bondage, Dark!Lucifer, F/M, Light Sadism, Lucifer's Cage, Mind Games, Not A Fairytale, Psychological Torture, Seduction, Torture, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-23
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2017-12-27 10:52:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 29
Words: 34,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/977933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorningstarGabriella/pseuds/MorningstarGabriella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You make a deal with Lucifer and end up in the Cage with him.<br/>Apparently, Lucifer has sick and twisted ways of seeking vengeance</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How It All Began...

You ran through the necropolis as fast as you could- Stull Cemetery, Kansas. You knew the day of the final battle was here- Armageddon. You threw opened the iron doors as you ran to the front inside.

You gasped.

Dean was slumped against the Impala, bleeding. There was blood on the ground in front of him. At some distance, Bobby Singer lay dead.

In the front, Lucifer was standing on a patch of grass, holding the Horsemen's rings in his hand. Michael was standing far away but was moving towards him as he threw down the rings.

Suddenly, both of them looked at you as a violent gust of wind started blowing. Lucifer smirked as you close your eyes and started muttering a spell. The ground was beginning to open when a bright flash of light blinded you.

Sam Winchester fell to the ground as you saw Lucifer in his true form- He looked just like Nick. His ice-blue eyes bore into your face.

"(Y/n) - I was waiting for you. I was afraid you had forgotten our deal."

The hole widened as Lucifer started falling. Without warning, he grabbed your jacket and pulled you with him.

You screamed as you felt the heat from Hell.

"MICHAEL!"

Michael was running towards you, shouting out your name, but his voice seemed distant.

You screamed out Michael's name until your face hit the ground hard and you blacked out.

\------------------------------------------------------

You tossed and turned uncomfortably in your sleep, hands fisting into the sheets.

...

_"Please, let him go!"_

_The cruel laugh rang throughout the room as the Devil looked at you with his ice-blue eyes. He had an unconscious Michael strapped to a chair, an archangel blade in his hand. He hissed- "I can't do that now, can I my love?"_

_He raised his hand high and you screamed out-_

_"No, Please- Just leave him. I'll do anything- Please leave him."_

_A devilish grin crossed his angelic face as he let out a cold laugh, sending a shiver down your spine._

...

You woke up with a start, breathing heavily. You were trembling slightly as you sat up, tears in your eyes. You looked around, confused at your surroundings.

"(Y/n)?"

You froze as you heard the voice. You quickly dried your tears and sat up straight. You turned behind and looked at him.

"MICHAEL!"

He smiled and nodded, moving over to you.

"YOU TOOK ME FROM THERE...THANK GOD!"

You had met Michael over a year ago, when he had introduced himself as your fellow angel. You had been flattered that God considered you important enough to send Heaven's Prince as your Fellow. Until recently, you had been an angel who was highly wanted by Hell. Michael had been given the duty to protect you from harm at any cost.

He had stayed with you every minute of every day. The one day you had left his side for a few moments...

Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked down, trying to face the other way. The tears slid down your cheek as you hid your face.

"(Y/n)..."

You felt his hands on your shoulder as he gazed into your (e/c) eyes with those beautiful deep blue orbs. He cupped your face in his hands as he wiped away your tears. You rested your face against his hand before he pulled you into a tight hug. He was the only one who could comfort you like this. You had been praying he would come to save you- Finally he had come.

You heard the fluttering of wings as he wrapped his wings around you possessively, making you smile and open your eyes. You saw the wings and froze- Michael's wings were golden, not black.

"Missed me sweetheart?"

A scream left your lips as you ran back into the wall, staring into those ice-blue eyes in horror. Instead of Michael, Lucifer sat in front of you, smiling. You looked left and right, desperate to run out.

"Mi...Mich...Michael!"

Lucifer smirked as he stood up and growled- "Michael is not going to come here anytime soon, Darling."

You looked around to see the walls of the room disappear as that dreaded ambience appeared. The walls seemed to be covered with blood- It made you fell nauseous and claustrophobic. The heat slammed into your face as you desperately looked around for an exit. There was none.

Lucifer's laughter resonated throughout the room as he looked at you, eyes darkening.

"Oh Fuck!"  
Lucifer huskily whispered, "Thats the plan angel!"

He  smirked and sang out loudly-

**"Welcome to the Cage, Love!"**


	2. My Little Angel

_"(Y/n) - Sam Winchester is calling for you...Again."_

_You groaned as you looked at Michael, pouting. You grudgingly said, "Can someone tell the Winchesters that we are their guardians and not their servants."_

_Michael laughed as he looked at you and shrugged- "Can't help it now, can we?"_

_You close your eyes and muttered- "He wants me to help him with why his freaking laptop won't work!"_

_Michael burst out laughing as you sat on the bed, in front of him. Michael was sitting on a chair directly opposite to you. You again closed your eyes and looked down, frowning. Michael asked in a low voice- "Is it hurting again?"_

_You meekly nodded as he drew his chair closer and whispered, "Let me help (Y/n)." You hesitantly nodded as he placed his hands on either side of your face and pressed down slightly. You gasped at first but then calmed down as Michael's hands seemed to be reducing the pain._

_"Better?"_

_You smiled and nodded before opening your eyes. Michael's face was a couple of inches from your face. You blushed slightly as he smiled slightly as brought down his hands to cup your face. Gently and cautiously, he neared you as he pressed his lips to yours. You were tentative at first but slowly yielded to the kiss. His hands now moved down and stopped at your waist. You moved your hands through his hair as he deepened the kiss. Michael moved closer and you backed until your back was against the bed and he was straddling you._

_You immediately broke the kiss, breathing heavily. Your cheeks were absolutely red as he looked at you with his deep blue eyes. You looked down as you managed to choke out- "I... Th...Think I will che...check up on Sam Win...Winchester now."_

_Saying this, you sat up hesitantly and disappeared from the room as Michael looked at the spot where you had been sitting, smirking._

_\------------------------------------------------------_

_"Please Lucifer No!"_

_Lucifer had you trapped in a ring of holy fire as Michael was strapped to a chair with Enochian restrains. His face bore various cuts, some of them very deep. Lucifer was standing behind the chair, a blood stained Archangel Blade in his hand. He studied the knife and then sunk it into Michael's arm._

_Michael closed his eyes as a gag muffled his screams. You reflexively moved forward but the Holy Fire stopped you._

_You shouted, "Please, let him go!"_

_The cruel laugh rang throughout the room as the Devil looked at you with his ice-blue eyes. He hissed- "I can't do that now, can I my love?"_

_He raised his hand high and you screamed out-_

_"No, Please- Just leave him. I'll do anything- Please leave him."_

_A devilish grin crossed his angelic face as he let out a cold laugh, sending a shiver down your spine._

_The Devil hissed, "Anything?"_

_Michael's eyes widened as he shook his head. You looked at Lucifer, who had the blade millimetres from Michael's chest. You sighed and nodded. Michael groaned as Lucifer smirked. He moved over and leaned forward until his mouth was near your ear. His other hand still clutched the Blade._

_His free hand grabbed your right arm as you gasped in pain as a burning sensation spread through your arm. You looked down to see Lucifer's mark burnt into your arm. He made a slight cut on his arm and dropped the blood falling onto the mark. You screamed as pain ripped through your arm._

_"When I fall, you fall. Is it a deal?"_

_You gulped and looked at Michael, who was shaking his head and had tears in his eyes. You turned to Lucifer and gazed into his ice-blue eyes._

_"Alright- It's a deal."_

_\------------------------------------------------------_

_"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?"_

_Michael slammed you against the wall of the alley as he glared at you, shaking. You bit down on your lip as tears filled your eyes._

_"I am so sorry Mike... I didn't know what to do... I am so sorry!"_

_Michael looked at you with fury in his eyes._

_"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT ALL HE IS CAPABLE OF DOING?"_

_Tears fell down your cheek as you looked at him. He stared at you for a few seconds before pressing you against his chest. You wrapped your arms around him as you cried and he laid a comforting hand on your head._

\------------------------------------------------------

 

You ran off the bed as Lucifer just sat there and looked at you, smiling. You backed into the wall with your eyes fixed on his face. You felt something against your back as you turned around and saw blood trickle down the walls. You backed in shock until something caught your foot and you tripped.

A strong pair of arms caught you as you heard Lucifer's sardonic voice- "Don't worry my angel, I will catch you...when you fall."

You turned around and pushed him back as you ran back a few steps. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a door to your right. With your eyes fixed on Lucifer, you lunged for the door and threw it open forcefully.

Lucifer's evil laughter resonated throughout the cage as you ran down the dark passage. You turned behind and saw he wasn't there. Heaving a sigh of relief, you continued running until you reached two doors. You opened one of them and saw all kinds of torture weapons inside. You slammed the door close and ran through the other door.

You continued running endlessly as you had to chose one of two doors every once a while. You were disgusted by all the things you saw- Demon blades, torture weapons, restrains, knives, holy water- Everything which could be used to torment a person.

At last you reached a single door in front of you. You mentally thanked heaven as your hand opened the doorknob and you stepped inside. You locked the door behind you as you turned to look at the room.

The room was completely dark as you moved in hesitantly. Your eyes scanned the room and suddenly, fell on a table in a corner. On the table were angel as well as archangel knives, unholy water and all other anti-angel weapons. On the wall were engraved Enochian restrains.

_An angel could be driven to insanity here._

You froze as your heart started beating frantically. Reflexively, you turned towards the door. To your utmost horror, Lucifer stood there, jet black wings unfurled and hands folded together- looking absolutely angelic and chaste.

"Hello, my angel."

That was all you remembered before you blacked out.


	3. Break You Down

You opened your eyes slowly and saw darkness all around. Suddenly, you remembered...

_Lucifer._

You scrambled to your feet before running for your life. There was no one there but it just felt like the right thing to do- The only freaking thing you could do. You had tears in your eyes as you slowed down.

"How the hell did I ever get into this mess," you mumbled to yourself.

You walked backwards, lost in thought. Suddenly, you bumped into something and turned around, horrified.

"I thought I made it very clear that you do not run from me," Lucifer spat out, his ice-blue eyes jet black.

...........................

_"It's gonna be a couple of days now."_

_You simply buried your face into Michael's chest and bit your lip, holding back tears. You were sitting by the window of some motel, watching the rain pour. It was practically a storm. It was Lucifer._

_"I am so sorry Mike," you mumbled. The older angel looked down into your eyes, now full of tears._

_"(Y/N)...don't cry. Hey. Shh...look at me."_

_You looked up with difficulty, the tears blurring your vision._

_"He won't harm you. Not as long as I live."_

_"But I made the frigging deal Michael," you practically screamed out, "and is there is one thing I remember about Lucifer- It is that he always gets what he wants!"_

_"Not this time. He has taken away enough from me to take away the girl I love this..."_

_He trailed off, realizing what he had just said. You looked at him incredulously. He nodded._

_"I love you (y/n). I have since the moment Father made me your guardian."_

_You blinked once before leaning forward and meeting him halfway._

_"I love you too Michael."_

_A smile crossed the Viceroy's lips for the first time since Lucifer's rising. He asked, "Be my mate (y/n)?"_

_"Yes," you cried and hugged him, "Yes!"_  
...........................

 

You froze, turning white. You had seen Lucifer angry but this was something different. Something much much worse.

Before you could register anything else, you felt a crushing blow to your face, slamming you against the wall.

But there was no wall there a few moments ago.

The room, which was an endless corridor a few moments ago, had become a small room the size of a prison was towering over you, wings unfurled.

This was so not good.

"I have dealt with many stubborn angels in heaven but you are something different."

He got down on one knee.

"Torture can't break you can it?"

An Archangel blade but through your cheek. You grimaced but didn't scream. The Pain was blinding but you were not going to give Lucifer the pleasure of seeing you in pain.

"Ooh...someone is tough. Looks like I'l have to try something else."

He pulled your head up and gripped your hair tight.

"There are other ways to break angels like you. Chaste angels like you."

Your eyes widened. He would not...You were his brother's mate!

"No..."

"My brother's mate," he sneered, "I know. But I AM the devil. You honestly think it is going to stop ME?"

You tried to scramble to your feet but his hands dragged you down, gripping your wings so hard till you screamed.

His hands clawed at your skin, any skin he could find, drawing out blood. You kept screaming but he just wouldn't listen. Every rough kiss and you broke down, bit by bit. You screamed for anyone in Heaven to hear you, but all in vain.

You were flipped, stomach down on the burning hot floor of hell. Your mind was hazy. How much longer could you fight him?

Lucifer lent down until his lip was near your ear. You were sandwiched between the burning hot earth and his ice cold body.

"You always took the confessions in Haven (y/n)..."

Tears were streaming down your face.

"Lucifer don't do this..."

"Forgive me Father, for I am going to sin," he hissed in your ear.

The scream that left your lips was deafening as Lucifer pressed your face down.

Burning you. Strangling you. Breaking you. Forever.  
...........................

 

Michael's eyes opened and he sat up, breathing heavily.

A pain, a burning pain, cut through his body. There was nothing to hurt him. Then why...

He turned pale, heart missing a beat.

"(Y/N)..."  
...........................

 

You were curled into the corner of the cell now.

It was all over for you now. Even if you made it back to Heaven now, there was no way you would be taken back. Not After Lucifer...

"Know how I felt now angel?"

You cowered into the corner with fear. He laughed.

"Tired already (l/n)? Because I am just getting started. And believe me..."

He gripped your face.

"..by the time this is over, you won't even remember your name." 

You stared into his ice blue orbs, horrified.

**"That is, of course, IF this is ever over."**


	4. Mind Games

Your grace was fading slowly..Not that much that your angelic abilities went away but just enough to make you realize it's disappearance.

You had seen it happen a million times. Angels getting pushed out of Heaven for having sinned. You had done it a few times too. You remembered the fear in their eyes, begging you to let them stay. But in that moment, you had to turn your heart to stone s you pushed a sibling out of Heaven, forever.

_Was this what was going to happen to you now?_

A tear fell down your cheek as you lay huddled in the corner. You had not moved since...You didn't even have an idea of how much time had passed since you had fallen to the Cage.

It felt like a lifetime.

"Empathetic towards me now (y/n)?"

You didn't even look up. You couldn't look into his eyes, you just couldn't.

"Maybe you should have been when Michael pushed me out, without a single bit of remorse. I remember it all (y/n). Father just stood there and so did all my brothers. Michael didn't seem to care and you- YOU just told me it was my fault."

"This is not who you are Lucifer."

Your vice was barely audible as you whispered this, but loud enough for Lucifer to hear.

"You are right (y/n). This is NOT who I am. You and I grew up together and you know this. Out of all the people, you know this."

It just made it worse for you, being in this situation with one of your closest friends in Heaven. You and Lucifer used to be inseparable and now...It just broke your heart to even think about it.

**"But this,this MONSTER that I have become,that is not who I am- This is what the cage made me. This is what Father made me. THIS IS WHAT YOU AND MICHAEL MADE ME!"**

He was leaning in front of you now as he spat out, "And I am going to make both of you pay for it if it is the last thing that I do."

* * *

"YOU ARE TAKING AWAY HER GRACE!?"

Michael shouted at Mary as he glared at her. He towered over the blonde as she looked at the floor uncertainly.

"Just because she fell is not why we did this Michael."

He looked puzzled. There was no other reason that Mary, the Guardian Mother, would do something like this. She took a deep breath before finally deciding to just say it.

"Michael, Lucifer did something..."

"What? Mary tell me, what?"

The expression on her face was enough to break Michael's heart in two.

* * *

"So that's your master plan? Screwing your frustration out?"

Lucifer smirked, "Oh no baby, this was just the beginning. You know, there are forms of torture- Physical, Mental, but my favorite one...Oh nothing beats that."

Lucifer looked into your eyes before raising his fist high and putting a finger to your forehead.

You backed, thinking he would hit you, but instead he smashed his fist on the floor. You looked down and saw that what was solid ground till a moment ago had turned to transparent glass. deep below, you could see flames leaping up and human figures, probably souls, screaming as they got burned.

Suddenly, the glass cracked.

Reflexively, you stretched your snow white wings to the maximum, as you fell and grabbed the broken edge on the glass. It cut through your hand as your screamed, and the blood fell on your face.

You could see Lucifer, standing at the edge of the broken glass, laughing. The fire burned you as your wings started turning to ash. The human souls calwed at your legs, drawing blood.

"NO! NO! STOP!"

* * *

Your eyes opened violently as you saw Lucifer, still looking in your eyes, removing a finger from your forehead.

You looked down- the ground was perfectly solid.

You outstretched your wings- and they were perfectly alright.

_Was it all just a hallucination?_

You looked at Lucifer, confused and scared at the same time.

"See (l/n)," Lucifer spoke, voice full of malice, "there is a very fine line where Rationality ends and Insanity begins. "

He took your right hand into his own and turned it so that you could see it.

"In the cage, this line is blurred."

On your hand, still bleeding, was a deep cut with a glass fragment embedded inside.


	5. Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It gets a little darker from here. Trigger warnings. Proceed with caution. Do review!

Drip

Drip

Drip

You closed your eyes as the water dripped onto your forehead. It had started when you had screamed at Lucifer to leave you alone and he had complied, surprisingly, but not in the way that you had hoped.

* * *

_"Perfect little (y/n). Always dad's soldier. Always Michael's pet. Remember how it wasn't always like that?"_

_He had you cornered so much your back was practically pressing the wall inwards. The familiar sneer on his lips made you want to punch him so bad, but you knew even moving from the spot wasn't possible for you right now._

_"Remember how you didn't always hate me?"_

_You winced as the memories flooded back- the time before his fall._

_..._

_"Hey. It's OK."_

_Your hand was on your face, trying to heal a cut. It had been your first training session, and Michael had made it a little too intense. You were shaking from head to toe. Michael had chosen a small cell for the training, unaware of your claustrophobia._

_Lucifer gently stroked you cheek as you took deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down to his gentle 'It's going to OK'._

_"I hate him."_

_"No you don't. He didn't do it on purpose. Now deep breaths and calm down."_

_You shook your head in a stubborn no, cursing Michael under your breath, ignoring Lucifer. Irritated and determined to end your panic attack, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours._

_You gasped in shock as his hands cupped your face, but in all honesty, made no attempts to pull away. It was a pure soft and chaste kiss, as you held on to his arm. A few moments later, he broke off the kiss and moved back, smiling._

_"Better?"_

_"You just made it worse," you laughed indignantly, hearing your quickening heartbeat. He gave you a smirk before walking off._

_..._

_It was such a contrast, the soft spoken Morningstar and the devil that stood before you now. Te chastity of that kiss and the pure sin in every one here. He had fallen, in every sense of the word._

_"You liked it. That day. You know it as well as I do."_

_You shook your head violently, not letting him do this to you._

_"Go away," you mumbled, only encouraging him._

_"You thought about us that day. You thought if you stood a chance."_

_You said no again, a little emboldened. He was not getting into our head so easily._

_"I know you thought about me. I know every single thing you thought,"_

_"Go away," your pitch was rising, and so was the excitement in his eyes. He loved to see you fall apart. To break you any way possible._

_"You wanted me."_

_You snapped, and instead of speaking, you screamed out as loud as you could, pushing him away- "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME."_

_In the blink of an eye, he was gone. You stood rooted to the spot, shocked. Then, you felt yourself get yanked by the hair._

* * *

And this was how you had ended up here, strapped to a cold metal frame, bound by Enochian restrains. A small jug of water hovered over your head, a drop of water falling on your forehead after regular intervals. It had been fine for the first few days, just a little annoying. Then, the paranoia settled in.

You would dread every second in anticipation of the next drop. It was messing up your mind, and you were convinced you must have a hole on your forehead by now.

It was as if he was pressing his finger into your head.

Was it raining?

Flooding?

Your thoughts were distorted. Your arms cramped from the restrains. Your head was hurting so much you couldn't think straight.

"You bastard," you muttered weekly.

"I hate you. I will always hate...you.."

You were sobbing now, overwhelmed by the situation.

"But I also pity you. Your cowardice."

It stayed the same, no response from him, but the second you felt the temperature go down, you knew you had his attention. Well, desperate times did call for desperate measures.

"You are so old but so naive. So immature. So insecure. Lucifer you are scared of losing everything. So you put on this charade."

You saw the jug getting fogged up. It kept getting colder by the second.

"You show the world you are the mighty and powerful Satan who takes whatever he wants, but in reality you are just a scared, coward, angel. Running from Heaven, from Father, From your family because you couldn't handle the fact that you weren't everyone's top priority."

You started laughing.

"You are a coward Lucifer Morningstar,"You were shaking now as you spat our with your voice filled with venom,"And what happened to you- I think this is the least you deserved."

That was enough for him. He materialized out of thin air, next to yo, and before you knew it, his hands were on your neck. His grip was so strong you could hear bones break, but what scared you was the pure rage on his face.

Without warning, he placed a cloth covering your face. You tried to struggle but failed. Suddenly, the water jug seemed to tilt over and pour water on you by the bucket loads.

The liquid went in through your nose and mouth, as you thrashed around hopelessly, the restrains gone but the Devil himself holding you down now.

You were drowning.

The water filled your lungs and abdomen as your vision blackened, You tries screaming but no sound came out, with both the water and Lucifer's grip on your neck cutting you off.

Slowly, you closed your eyes and the darkness took over.

It was the first of your many deaths in the cage.


	6. Fallen Angel

The bright light woke you up.

It was all around, piercing even your closed eyes. Maybe it had been months, maybe it had been seconds since you had passed out- there was no way to be sure. Hesitantly and slowly, you opened your eyes.

You looked up to see the bight blue sky, the sun shining bright on your face. You knew it too well that it was in illusion, another one this time, but one that you didn't mind. You knew the place- it was a young boy's Heaven who had died young. The place was one of your favorite in Heaven. Well, not only yours.

"(y/n)?"

The voice was almost inaudible, but you turned around nonetheless. Michael stood behind you, the faintest smile on his lips, dressed in a spotless white suit. You tried your best to send back the same, but it was as if smiling was a distant memory.

Michael extended his hand to you, still giving you an assuring smile. You knew it wouldn't end good but you took it anyways. Standing up, you noticed your own attire- a simple pearl white gown. Your wounds were gone and for a second, it was just like the last time you had come here. Michael pulled you up and chastely kissed your forehead.

"I've missed you (y/n)."

* * *

You walked through the winding forest path, the morning dew against your skin, hand intertwined with Michael's. You talked for what seemed like hours, about everything going on in heaven since you had left. It was a welcome escape and when Michael turned to you and pulled you into a tight embrace, it felt like you were back home. At last.

"I missed you too Mike," you mumbled into his chest as you lost yourself in the purity of the moment.

"Baby I'm so sorry.."

His voice trailed of in your ear as you looked up at him.

"This is not on you Mike. Don't..."

He cut you short, a dead look in his eyes,"I wasn't apologizing for your fall (l/n). I'm apologizing for this."

He snapped his fingers and two angels materialized next to you out of thin air.

Jonathan. Alastair.

They were Heaven's most feared warriors, their raw power unmatched by any other senior angel. Confused, you turned to Michael, just in time for Johnathan to land a blow square to your face, throwing you back.

Your mind was blank, and became blurred with every blow and every kick. These were angels you had known all your life- What was going on?

You looked up, your face bloodied and yes swollen. The blows stopped but you felt so empty exposed and so vulnerable. The then empty meadow was now filled with thousands of angels, their fingers pointed towards you, accusing looks in their eyes.

You looked back towards Michael, who had just started speaking.

"I, Archangel Michael, under the powers bestowed to me as the Viceroy.."

"NO!"

You screamed out but to no avail, as the two burly angels dragged you back.

"..do hereby proclaim that the angel of the name (f/n) (m/n) (l/n) has sinned and under the rules of Heaven," he paused to look at you once, without a hint of emotion in his eyes.

"is from here on, relieved of all her heavenly duties."

You screamed against Alastair hand, which was covering your mouth, the tears welling in your eyes. Behind you, Jonathan picked up the scythe.

With that, the scythe was brought down on your wings. You shouted out but it all fell to deaf ears. The blood from where your wings had been pooled at your feet, until it started rising. You looked a little up to see Annabeth,Castiel,Mary,Bartholomew- all the angels you had ever cared about lying on the ground, bleeding out.

"No!"

The blood rose till you were almost drowing, struggling to swim up. Your vision was blurry, but enough to look up. Hoding you down, preventing you from escaping, was Michael- his hand pressing your head down as he wore a proud smirk on his face.

_"vale angelum perspiciunt lapsum"_

* * *

You woke up with a scream, back in the dreaded ambiance. On second thoughts, the not so dreaded ambiance any more. Your throat was hoarse from the screaming as you shook violently unable to believe your eyes.

This had to be the worst hallucination ever.

"It wasn't a hallucination. My hallucinations can't mess with Heaven's plans like this. It was a vision."

You looked up to see Lucifer in front of you, his expression not gleful at your pain for the first time. You thought you saw concern but you really couldn't tell anymore. You knew what this meant for you. For Heaven. For everyone.

As you finally let the tears break through while Lucifer sat in front of you, Michael's words rang in your ears.

_vale angelum perspiciunt lapsum_

Farewell, Fallen angel.


	7. Wings

"He won't do this to me," you mumbled to yourself. There were no tears, there had been no tears for a long time. It was as if the hell fire had dried them up, and you knew it would take real effort to break you down now.

"That's what I thought too."

You didn't even flinch when you felt Lucifer's chill radiate next to you.

"I want to see your wings (y/n)."

You turned to him, "No."

Your wings were the only part of your body left without any wound, any bruise, any blood.

"You could show me your wings just as politely as I asked you for them, or I could just have it my own way."

You didn't react. The blink of an eye and your hair were pulled back roughly, eye to eye with Lucifer as he roughly slid his hand between your shoulder blades. Your eyes watered and the scream left your mouth as your wings burst out from your back.

The white feathers shuddered as the hot air hit them, curling inwards in an attempt to prevent themselves from harm. You looked at Lucifer, bracing yourself for some form of impact. However, all you saw on his face was awe.

He traced a cool finger down the ridge of one of the wings as you felt the goosebumps rise on your skin. He was so gentle with your wings it was almost difficult to believe you were face to face with Satan.

"Luci..."

He shushed you before speaking, "You are such an enigma, you know that. A perfect little warrior, always following orders, no matter where it leads you. Even now, you're here and in the worst possible situation an angel has been in, and you refuse to break."

He paused, and when he started talking again, the softness of his voice surprised you as he caressed the tips on your wings.

"You can run from the mirror all you want (y/n), but you know it as well as me, of what you see in it. You see your fate."

He noticed you look down, back into the mirror atop which the cage was situated today.

"Treasure your wings. For whatever little time you have them now."

"No.."

"Open your eyes angel," he hissed and towered over you, "Michael will wreck you. I trusted him but he did the same to me and he won't hesitate to do the same to you."

"HE WILL NOT!"

"YES HE WILL YOU PITIFUL FOOL."

Lucifer's scream brought you to your senses as you stared at him, horrified. The fallen angel closed his eyes as 5 pairs of wings shot out from his back.

_Or at least, the 5 pairs that you were expecting to see._

4 of the five looked as they had been ripped from the base, only a stubble left. The 5th pair of wings was mangled, but still distinguishable. The wings were the onyx, the blood red stains clearly visible on it.

"Oh Father," you whispered to yourself, trailing your hand softly along the dark feathers.

"Fun fact- They used to be whiter than yours."

Your hands stopped, and so did your breath as you looked up, horrified. Your fingers were coated with a layer of what looked like charcoal- burnt wings.

" _Michael succandem vos angelus_ ," he told you,"He will burn you. Because it is the right thing to do. He will wreck you and when he does, you'll remember me."

With that, he was gone.

* * *

You were in the corner of the room, looking blankly at the wall opposite to you, eyes fixed on the bloodied ambiance. It had been ages since the vision, but you couldn't shake it from your head."Father I have served Heaven for 5000 millennium now," you spoke to the emptiness around you, your voice firm.

"I have put my life on the line to serve my brothers, sisters, You and even mankind. I never questioned a single order, no matter how wrong, no matter how questionable. I obeyed any and everyone who was in charge. Be it Raphael, be it Castiel, be it Zachariah and his reign of terror, be it Mich..."

Your voice cracked at the mention of his name.

"I have been loyal to you Michael, I've always been there for you. I never stood against you- not when you pushed me to the breaking points during practice, not when you made me spy on Lucifer when he went to the Garden of Eden,not when you kicked him out of Heaven despite my telling you he didn't harm Eve. I never questioned you Michael, I never even brought this up. I did everything for you because I love you. I went with the Winchesters because I love you. I fell because I love you. I am here because I love you, and if that is the reason I lose my grace..."

You stopped.

"Don't you dare do that to me, you hear me? DON'T YOU DARE!"

* * *

Michael sat down, hands cupping his ears, making each and every attempt to drown out your shouts. He had heard every prayer, every cry, every scream of his name since you had fallen.

"You have to do it Michael," Naomi whispered to him, running his hand a little too comfortingly over the eldest archangel's shoulder, nails trailing along the fabric of his shirt.

"I can't," he whispered, "I just can't. She's my love, my bonded, my ma-"

The brunette was face to face with him in an instant, brown eyes locking with his grey ones.

"This is HEAVEN we are talking about. The greater good. I am not here to speak on my behalf but on behalf of all the angels in my garrison and trust me Michael, the line of angels outside your Heaven aren't here for the view."

Her voice was a little harsh, but full of truth. Michael groaned and ran a hand through his hair, mumbling a damn it to himself. He looked up to see a wicked smile on her face.

"What?"

She stood up, starting to walk away, before turning back near the door, her voice sultry.

"Don't kid yourself Michael- If you really wanted to save (y/n), you could've done so yourself 4 years ago."

With that, she closed the door and left.


	8. Hurt. Comfort.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so it happens. But is it here to stay. Who knows ( I do). Who knows ( I do ).  
> *insert evil laughter here*  
> \----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_(y/n)?_

_You turned around hesitantly to face Lucifer, his face betraying the faintest trace of shock on seeing your bloodshot eyes. With a sad smile, he opened his arms, just in time for you to stumble forward, breaking down._

_The older archangel clasped you in a tight hug as you sobbed into his shirt._

_"I am so sorry. Luce...I'm so..."_

_He hushed you as he pressed his lips into your hair, mumbling consolations but to no avail._

_"It wasn't your fault (y/n). This isn't your fault."_

_"BUT IT IS," you screamed out in frustration, just in time for him to cup your face between his hands and run his thumb over your cheek, before kneeling down for a chaste kiss to your lips._

_"Goodbye angel," he whispered against your lips, before turning back and heading for the door._

_"Lucifer wait," you muttered, causing him to turn back with a look of confusion, "There's something I have to tell you."_

* * *

The heat of the Cage burnt your flesh as your back made contact with the floor. You stared at the roof aimlessly, your mind blank. Your grace was down to a bare minimum, just for your sustenance, difficult to adjust to after years of power.

"I would ask you if you're OK Angel, but I doubt that nickname is even on the cards now," Lucifer commented as he looked at you, pausing from making a painting of the Garden of Eden with blood, on the wall. You muttered something inaudible.

"Didn't quite catch that one. A little louder maybe?"

"I am still an angel."

"Sure you are," he remarked with a sadistic smile, knowing you were now watching him. Your face contracted into a frown as you spoke firmly, "I am STILL an angel."

"And I am Obama," Lucifer said indifferently, not ready for your reaction. Mustering all your courage and strength, you pulled yourself up to your feet, manifesting your grace, you looked straight at him, eyes glowing fierce orange and hand raised, causing a strong gust of wind to blow. As a final symbol for dominance, you closed your eyes to manifest your 3 pairs of snow white wings.

_Or the 3 pairs you were anticipating._

Behind you, you felt a deep void and the second you turned behind, you felt the life leave you.

2 of the pairs had been ripped out from the base itself, no sign of their existence except the stubble of the bones at their base. The only remaining pair was mangled beyond recognition- a muddle of muscle,blood and wings.

Lucifer stood up, eyes rooted not on the macabre state of your wings, but on your face.

Every ancient passage about the fall from grace ran through your mind, flashing in front of your eyes.

_And for the angel of the Lord who shall sin in the name of Heaven, shall be cast out under the laws of the Lord. His deeds shall get a befitting penalty- A 3 step fall from grace. His wings shall be taken from him, the only symbol of his Heavenly wrath, and he shall lose all control on them. The pain of this shall follow the realization, for no deed can go punished shall the regret not be roused._

And with that, came the pain.

The scream of horror and pain that left your mouth was hardly human, echoing of even the farthest and invisible walls of the tears sprang in your eyes as your nails clawed at your face, drawing blood, doing your best to distract yourself from the pain.

"YOU BASTARD! YOU SANCTIMONIOUS BASTARD!"

You didn't know when Lucifer had gripped your wrists with his hand, urging them away from you despite all protests from you. You pushed him back with all your might, trying to get away, but knowing your strength at the moment, it was barely enough to move him more than a foot back.

You turned to wriggle out, but his rough hands grabbed your hands, bringing them behind your back.

"STOP IT (Y/N)!"

You looked back it him through the veil of tears over your eyes. His tone was harsh but his expression was...broken.

* * *

Lucifer stared at your state- hair disheveled, white dress a deep shade of your red, the ground under you just as red, the feathers of your remaining wings shedding slowly, eyes bloodshot as the wounds on your face began bleeding.

You were so spent. So broken. So-him.

The sight was eerie, but not remembered looking into the mirror of the Cage when Michael had taken his wings from him.

Lucifer felt as he had just seen his reflection.

* * *

He had pulled you against him just as you had fallen down on your knees, lying limp against his form. Had it not been for your feeble heartbeat, he might as well have held a dead body. Seconds, Minutes, Hours, Days passed before you managed to tire yourself out.

"Let's get you cleaned up."

You looked up with great effort, dead (e/c) eyes meeting the sad blue ones. On his face, you saw sympathy. On your face, he saw defeat. With great effort, you complied.

* * *

You didn't even react when the ice cold water hit your wings. The blood trailed down your back, along with a few left over wings and chunks of flesh and muscle.

His hands were surprisingly gentle, treating your wings as if they were made of glass, which they were in a way you supposed. He spoke of something to you. Whether they were words of comfort or just ramblings you did not know.

You were deaf. You were dumb. Even if you could hear. Even if you could speak. You had turned blind to the world. Even though you could see.

All of Lucifer's torture hadn't been sufficient to bring you on the verge of insanity. Apparently, this was just enough to tip you over.

You didn't even know when he had finished. The only thing that brought you back was when he knelt in front of you. His black wings wrapped around you, a remnant of your first memory of the Cage.

"You're going to be just fine Angel," he hushed as he tipped your chin up with one of his wings. Your eyes focused on him, and for a moment your blindness lifted. You could see him. Past the pain. Past the hurt. Past the angst.

He was there.

"But I'm not..."

His face was close, eyes locked with yours, and you were suddenly aware of the proximity. For the first time since before his fall, you saw the traces of a smile on his face.

"You'll always be to me."

With that, he brought his lips down to yours and this time, you didn't need to fight back.


	9. Temptations

This time, it wasn't forced. This was so different- A stark contrast to your first time. Lucifer was painstakingly gentle with you- treating you like a porcelain doll. His cold lips moved in tandem against your chapped ones, the kiss smooth and chaste.

He ran his hands gently through your (h/l) (h/c) hair as you clung to his shirt, eyes closed as you tried to let go. Let go of all the pain. All the hurt. All you had lost. He broke the kiss, lips just touching yours, as trailed his free hand down your face and back. Your eyes hadn't left his face since the moment he'd turned to face you, and you could see his slightly blown pupils despite the softness of his expression.

He leaned a little to touch his forehead to yours, bottom lip quivering as he gave you a small assuring smile. With that, he stood up ad walked behind, kneeling down behind , as slowly as he could, he reached out one hand to caress the base of your wings.

The panic went off immediately, your eyes widening and mouth gaping, as you attempted to lean away from the cool touch.

"Hey hey hey," Lucifer cooed softly, as his hands eased your shoulders back to their initial position,"It's OK. I'm not going to hurt you. No one's gonna hurt you."

You turned back to look at him, face echoing concern, just as he leaned and pressed your lips together again, simultaneously ghosting his fingers along your wings. The surprised gasp left your lips before you could contain yourself, causing you to relax. Lucifer's cold fingers trailed along every feather, every ridge, while trailing his lips down your neck.

For the first time since your fall, the Cage didn't burn you. For the first time, your mind wasn't full of pain. As he pressed against the tip of your wings and kissed down between your shoulder blades, the groan left your mouth, head falling back against his chest.

"Lucifer I.."

He hummed against your collarbone, fingers digging into your feathers, while his other hand trailed softly up your thigh. It felt like Heaven, but..

"...I can't. I can't do this."

* * *

Michael had no memory of how he had gotten himself into this. He had just come back from a meeting of the Heavenly Hosts, and frankly, he was more unloved right now in Heaven than Lucifer had ever been

Never had any of his subordinates shown such blatant disrespect for his actions or decisions.

He had stormed out, refusing to hear any more. He didn't know when he had made his way back to his Heaven. He didn't know when he had wrecked half of his garden. He only vividly remembered 5 words.

_"You need to relax Michael"_

He didn't know when Naomi had made her way there. Her hands on his shoulders, gently massaging the tense muscles as she whispered words of comfort in her air. Her face inches from his own, her pupils didn't know when things had become so messed up for him. And he sure as hell didn't know when he had ended up with his back pressed to a tree, Naomi's lips on his own. He didn't know who initiated it. He would have stopped, but he was too tired.

Tired of everything. Tired of being the one in charge of everything.

And for one time, he was going to stop

* * *

"(y/n) what's wrong?"

Lucifer was face to face with you, cupping your face. You didn't know what was wrong, but something was. Something was out of place.

"I'm not going to hurt you angel. You hear me?"

He enunciated every syllable slowly, blue-black eyes boring into your face. You were just nodding now, completely intoxicated. His wing still had your face tilted upwards, lips trailing the lobe of your air, while his free hand massaged the pulse point on your wrist.

"I'm gonna take good care of you angel," his whisper against your air was cool as his hands trailed down your body, "It's been long (y/n). Too long since I last felt you. Touched you."

Your consciousness was down to its bare minimum as your breath hitched. You could feel his fingers work against the strap of your dress as you reached for his collar to tug at his shirt. It was gentle yet so desperate.

"I want you (y/n). Want to burn my name into your flesh. Oh God the things I want to do to you."

Your hands were Grabbing his arm, holding on for dear life. With a finality in your voice, you looked up, tracing your hand over his lip.

"Lucifer...I want you," and with this, Lucifer grabbed you by the waist, pulling you flush against his body and hissed, his voice dropping an octave, "I need your consent. I need to hear it. Do you want this?"

_You were already in hell. You couldn't possibly go any further could you?_

You could hear the scream on NO at the back of your mind, a remain of your conscience. You could feel Michael's mark of bonding burn on your arm. You could feel the sense of guilt. You, however, could also feel the lack of your wings.

Eyes closed, lips parted, all it took was one syllable.

"Yes"

* * *

"What the hell?"

Naomi stood up, looking horrified at the eldest Archangel who had practically thrown her off at the worst possible time. She stood up to glare at Michael, but stopped when she saw him clutching his shirt with one hand, eyes staring into the distance.

"Oh Father... What have you done (y/n)," he groaned under his breath.

Naomi knew she didn't need to do anything more.

"So Michael," she whispered, "You're still not going to listen to the Hosts and take away her wings?"

* * *

Lucifer turned to his left, eyes on your spent form, sleeping quietly for the first time in years. His fingers traced the contours of your bare back, forming random patterns with his hair were even more disheveled, but in the good sort of way this time round. His other hand arranged your wings, the disarrayed state of your wings, grooming all 3 pairs, causing you to let out a soft moan in your sleep.

You looked so much at ease.

So perfect.

Wrecked but gorgeous.

So calm.

So innocent.

_And so blissfully unaware of everything._

Smiling to himself, he turned back, looking at the ceiling of the cage.

_Oh Sweet Revenge_


	10. She

His expression was stoic, his eyes staring into the distance as he registered the one word booming in his head for the past eternity.

A single word, the soft voice he had yearned to hear for the past 5 years saying the one thing he never wanted to hear. The soft whisper which sounded echoed like a scream in Heaven.

_Yes_

Michael's eyes shut as he tried to drown out the white noise in his head. The distant shout of his name from somewhere. Pulling him away from reality. The searing pain on his mark of bonding.

"Michael the Hosts await your arrival."

Naomi's hand brushed against his shoulder, a soft look of concern on her face. He turned around, eyes fixed on her light green ones. This was wrong. 5 billion shades of wrong.

_Or was it?_

The surprised gasp left Naomi's lips as Michael pulled her by the waist, effortlessly lifting her and slamming her against the tree behind, smashing his lips to hers. His hands explored her body as he deepened the kiss, the carnality of the moment taking over. And as for Naomi - She had no intentions of complaining anytime soon.

* * *

Lucifer stared at the peaceful face in front of him, a face familiar from his mirror years ago. A person so familiar yet so unknown.

He had laid eyes on you the moment you had been created and you.. you had always been his enigma.

* * *

_**Novel** _

_"Michael, Lucifer, Gabriel, Raphael," their Father said with a smile as he ushered the next angel in during the initiation ceremony, "This is (f/n) (l/n)- Angel of the Lord."_

_The young angel entered the court, intimidated by the mammoth architecture and crowds of the Heavenly Host around her. Michael eyed her with a poker face, Gabriel gave his brother a suggestive look while Raphael looked utterly bored. And then there was Lucifer, breath hitched, wide eyed, staring at the girl in front of her._

_She blushed reflexively, a strand of her (h/c) hair falling down her face as she diverted her eyes to the floor and took a bow._

* * *

_**Focused** _

_Merely half a century from here initiation and the young angel was already showing signs of being a surprisingly skilled warrior. Her movements were swift, her agility a big bonus to her as she proved herself to be a leader._

_As he watched her take out another senior angel during practice, Lucifer smiled at her from the distance, as his eyes fell on the sliver of pride on Michael's face, with a hint of something else in his unusually soft expression._

* * *

**_Responsible_ **

_"Under the rules and laws of Heaven, I appoint you, Seraphim Gadreel as the keeper of the Garden of Eden."_

_The elder angel bowed, 4 pairs of dark purple wings spread out behind him as he recieved his Father's blessing. Golden staff in hand, eyes glowing a divine blue, he turned back to gesture the young angel from the ranks of Lordships._

_"Under the rules and laws of Heaven and under the eye of Seraphim Gadreel, I appoint you, Dominion (f/n), as the helper of Gadreel."_

_Hair pulled back, 2 pairs of white wings behind your back spread out as the orange glow from your eyes burned bright. Taking the staff from father,you looked up to see beyond the happiness in Father's face, straight into the adoration and pride of those ice blue eyes._

* * *

**_Obedient_ **

_"These creations, these humans, shall be yours to worship. And as for Adam and Eve, do not cross paths with them and if you do - Treat them with respect, if not as equals. It's not a request, it's an order."_

_All the angels looked disgruntled, but bowed their heads in respect, with a silent yes Father. Lucifer, however was anything but happy. Head up, a haughty look on his visage, he started forward towards his father. A warm hand gripped his wrist, nails against his skin. He turned around to see her pleading face._

_"Please Lucifer, don't. We have to do this."_

_"You have to do this," he spat back, but calmed when he saw the look on your face._

_"At least promise me you'll try."_

_A resigned sigh._

_"Fine. I Promise."_

* * *

You were wide awake but didn't open your eyes. You knew he was still there, watching over you.

After all he had done for you. After all he had done to you.

After all you had done for him.

After all you had done to him.

* * *

_**Cautious** _

_"Gadreel? Brother where are you?"_

_The panic rose in your mind as you started running, the soft grass against your feet. The gates to Eden were just beginning to come to view, but Gadreel seemed to be nowhere in sight._

_"BROTHER?"_

_This was bad. Nothing could have happened to him. Not your brother. Not... Not the keeper._

_You reached the site and froze, eyes rooted to the sight before you. Gadreel was sprawled against the tree, wings bent, blood down his chin. His arms had numerous bruises and cuts, and his leg seemed to be bent at a very odd angle._

_"No No No. Stay with me brother. Stay with me."_

_He was shaking, trying his best to say something. He couldn't utter anything but mustered all his strength to raise his hand towards the unlocked gate of Eden. Your eyes widened with horror as you took in the information._

_Someone had stolen his staff- the Key to Eden._

* * *

**_Scarred_ **

_No more running. You had to creep. Your footfalls had to be inaudible. You traced the possible path of the intruder, struggling to calm your nerve and heartbeat. The tree of Knowledge of good and evil was to your left, might as well check there._

_You turned your head and stopped dead in your tracks._

_The tree spread out majestically in the foreground of Heaven's sky. The golden fruits shining brightly against the setting sun, and right in your line of sight, the first woman- Eve, back against the tree and the oh so familiar head of dirty blond hair. Her black hair scrapped against the bark as her eyes were shut, lips parted in pleasure, blissfully unaware of the magnitude of sin she had_ _committed._

_And then you saw it._

_In his right hand, a half eaten, golden fruit._

* * *

**_Honest_ **

_The Fall had been announced. Lucifer's sin had been caught. A complaint by an anonymous angel who had witnessed Lucifer corrupt mankind. It had all ended up here._

_As you looked at Lucifer's disappearing back with your tear filled, you couldn't help blurting the words out._

_Lucifer wait," you muttered, causing him to turn back with a look of confusion, "There's something I have to tell you."_

_To your surprise, he turned back and smiled, "There's something I had to tell you too (y/n)."_

_You barely heard him, you were doing this and you did not care if it was moments before his fall forever. There was a moment's silence as both of you waited for the other to start._

_"I think we should just go together," Lucifer sighed as you agreed. Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you waited as he counted._

_1...2...3_

_"I Love You"_

_"It was me"_

_You both stopped, eyes opening in shock. You eyes him with wonder, taking his words in. He..loved you?_

_Then you looked up to see his expression change. The smile died in the blink of an eye, and you could feel the temperature drop down in the room, his eyes darkening._

_"You did what?"_

_His voice was barely audible as he walked towards you, like a predator. You reflexively started falling backwards, not breathing at all._

_"Lucifer I..."_

_Your sentence of apology was cut off in an instant as a frigid hand lunged for your throat, pulling you up and slamming you on the glass conference table as it shattered._

_The shards of glass pierced your back as you felt every blow to your face, coupled with screams of profanities and accusations of betrayals. When Michael finally did find you, Lucifer was 2 seconds away from ripping your wings out with his hands and stabbing you with the Archangel blade._

_As Jonathan and Alastair pulled Lucifer away from you, he took one final glance at you._

_"Don't think this is over. It never will be."_

* * *

You smiled to yourself as you thought of how things had changed. For the worse, and then the better.

Unknown to you, up in Heaven, changes had started. Michael had stopped at the last minute to revive an old deal.

Unknown to you, your name was on every lip in Heaven at the moment,

Unknown to you, the Hosts had just called their latest meeting.

Unknown to you, your consent to Lucifer had sounded loud and clear in Heaven, to every angel alive.

_An angel of the lord, willingly falling in front of the Fallen Son Of God._

Unknown to you, Lucifer continued to smile, knowing that the wheels were finally in motion.


	11. Vale Angelum Perspiciunt Lapsum

The Cage had its way of providing solace to those who seeked it, provided one is able to get past all the horror it send your way.

You had had ample time to recover from everything that had hit you so far- The Fall, The Breaking, The torture, The Mind Games, The Deaths, The Fall from Grace.

You stood alone amidst the vast expense of nothingness ever since Lucifer had left a little while ago, promising to be back soon. You clenched a glass of water in your hand,succumbing to human needs more since your wings were gone

You weren't devastated anymore, but there was no denying that you missed home- You missed Heaven. It were these moments of solitude that brought all the memories back.

Your initiation as an angel. Your entering the Hosts. All the practice sessions with Michael. All the pranks with Gabriel. The bliss of moments spent with Lucifer, just sitting alone in a corner of hours you and Castiel whiled away as you watched humanity. The teachings of your elder brother Gadreel as you listened in responsibility. The bitter memories of the fall- The life changing decision you had taken in Eden.

* * *

_"You have to look a little less guilty," Michael said to you with an emotionless voice, "We can't have anyone know it's you."_

_You turned to him, taking in every look on his face- He looked more dead than a corpse._

_"Why not?"_

_He didn't look at you, as he had not done since Lucifer's punishment had been announced._

_"Factions of angels support Lucifer- They are not fond of humans either. They will not rebel lest they shall be cast out too, but they are out for blood against the whistleblower. They think the whistleblower killed their resistance movement, and they won;'t hesitate to pay you back the same way. The blame you."_

_A long moment of silence followed as you walked along the river in Michael's Heaven, on way to the battlefield._

_Somewhere along the way you stopped walking, and the eldest archangel halted as well._

_"And you don't?"_

_Michael turned to face you, his blue eyes showing the first hint of undecipherable emotion. He strode over to you in 3 steps, putting a comforting hand on your shoulder._

_"No I don't. You did nothing wrong. If anything I envy you. I know you care about Lucifer just as much, if not more than me, and if I had been in your position, I don't think I'd be able to do it. I wouldn't be able to put duty before love."_

_His voice was soft but with a hint of..bitterness?_

_You reached the edge of the battlefield, and all of Heaven turned to the two of you._

_This was it. Your first pretense._

_Eyes locked with Lucifer, hand in Michael's hand, you walked out as all of Heaven stared._

_The memories hit close to home as Lucifer's scream while falling resounded in your ears. The flash of pure terror just as Michael pushed him off. Father's unmoved expression._

_Michael's vice like grip on your hand. Raphael's bored look. Gabriel's tears. Your guilt boring through your being._

_You recalled the stories that had been recited since-Tales were still told to young Cherubs of how the light from his wings burning lit up all of Heaven for hours._

* * *

You froze- No breathing, no moving.

Realization hit you head on as your mind went blank.

Lucifer's wings had burnt in the fall, they hadn't been ripped out.

The glass shattered as it hit the mirror below, a remnant of Lucifer's attack at you in Heaven.

Your heart dropped as you slowly turned your head down towards the floor of the Cage. In the mirror, beyond the hell fire and the screaming souls, you saw it.

_All 3 snow white pair of wings spread behind your back._

"Empathetic towards me now, (y/n)?"

You didn't even turn around as you felt the frost creep up on the glass below, the words just as cold as they had sounded the day he had broken you apart in the Cage for the first time.

His voice was sardonic as he sang the ancient testament, circling around you like a predator.

"All sins committed, shall have no repercussions on the victim, for those where the latter's consent was ignored. And for those which are committed in full knowledge, shall go unpunished despite the Laws Of Heaven,lest there be 3 of witnesses to a full verbal consent."

He emphasized the last 3 words as you shut your eyes.

All of Heaven had served as your witness.

* * *

Anna ran through Heaven, bumping into Angels and Cherubs along the way, but she was blind to breathing was fast and face pale as she tore through the canopy of the tallest trees of Gabriel's garden, as she crossed over to the next Heaven.

She collapsed as soon as she entered, only to five twenty pairs of eyes turn to her.

"Anna- What's wrong?"

The young Dominion was out of breath,but she managed to choke out the message.

"Archangel Lucifer demands an audience with you."

The color drowned from Michael's face.

* * *

It had been one of the most difficult links to establish in all realms- connecting Heaven and The Cage. Father had given Lucifer this opportunity to use only once, and he had taken it.

The dark ambiance of the Cage materialized in front of Michael and the Hosts as his eyes fell on his younger brother.

Lucifer's expression was one of sick glee, a contrast to Michael's broken visage. The hosts assessed the fallen angel's condition-he seemed surprisingly well. The rumors of him feeding on pain must have been true.

The eyes turned to the scene in front of him, his mate down on her knees- frozen to the spot like a statue,head bowed in shame,hair shielding her face from sight.

"Must I remind you of your honorable duties,brother?"

Michael's head shot up to stare at his sibling, eyes burning with took him a second to understand Lucifer's deed.

"You manipulated her. You lied brother- Remind me which part of it seems honorable to you."

Lucifer chuckled darkly as he continued,"I never stood for honor brother. That was always yours to keep. What I stood for is the rules."

Michael gave him a sarcastic chuckle.

"Of course you did."

"Well, as much as I would love to chat, I would like to remind you again of your duties. Remember Testament 671 of the Angel Tablet. It pretty clearly asked

for 3 witnesses. You have about millions of them."

"You cannot possible imply.."

"Oh I don't imply it brother, I out rightly state it," Lucifer snarled, "No rules were considered during my fall. Why should your mate not be extended the same courtesy."

Michael's wings flared out and menacingly stared down his brother as the Hosts backed down.

"And those who act as obstructions to Justice shall be wiped out by Heavenly wrath, for neither Heaven nor Hell can tolerate such a sin as is of willfully ignoring misdemeanor."

Michael backed down, knowing this was no Angel testament- It was Father's warning on the eve of Lucifer's fall.

He turned back to the Hosts, hoping for agreement, but not one Grace was in agreement with him.

"Remember your duty Michael," Raphael breathed out from the front.

His mind was a blur as he looked down at you, your dead eyes staring at his face, tear-filled to the brim.

"Do It Michael."

The Hosts passed their verdict to the Viceroy, heads bowed but not due to fear.

He was cornered.

"Just pass the order brother- Allow me to handle the rest."

Lucifer's words were painfully true- He was the only being other than God and Michael to have the ability to snatch away Graces.

The Hosts reminded of his vows while Raphael idly talked of his promises to Father. Lucifer's challenging expression added to the disarray.

In the midst of it all, you looked up.

Broken voice, broken heart- He chocked out the formality as he had done millennium ago.

* * *

_"Do you, Archangel Lucifer confess to your sins?"_

_A proud head shook yes._

* * *

"Do you, Seraphim (y/n) confess to your sins?"

Eyes wet, lips chapped, face bruised, you mustered all your remaining strength.

* * *

_The eve of Armageddon, hands clasping Michael's, in some secluded church in_

_"(f/n) (l/n), Do you take Michael to be your husband and Mate?"_

_"I do," you beamed_

* * *

"I do."

And you closed your eyes.

Michael looked up at Lucifer, not making eye contact.

"Do It."

Lucifer strode to your front, blocking your view of Michael.

He knelt down, cupping your cheek. His hand didn't feel cold.

It was the beginning of all he had dreamt to do.

"Open your eyes Angel."

You and Michael screamed No at the same time, but you couldn't hear him now as the link began to fade away.

The hand grabbed your ankle as you tried to run away, pulling you down and pinning you to the floor as you locked your eyes with the all too familiar orbs.

"No..NO!"

You didn't fear losing your grace, but not like this. Not with this.

Lucifer smiled as he enjoyed his new face- He has wanted to do this for ages.

Warn hands closed around your neck as you stared at the dark blue orbs and the brown hair.

A bright flash of light, his unshielded Grace, lit up the Cage as you screamed, your wings finally turning to soot.

With that, Michael's voice hissed in your ear.

"Vale Angelum Perspiciunt Lapsum."


	12. Victory

No matter how long you had been seeing it, you never got used to the sight.

The First Born with nothing but Darkness in his eyes. The Impartial One with sick glee on his blood stained face. The Viceroy Of Heaven carving blood sigils in pale skin. The Leader Of The Hosts laughing in sync with every scream of agony.

You knew it wasn't him. You thought you did. No matter how much you begged, Lucifer never relented.

* * *

"Lucifer Stop Please..."

The sobs were the same over the past so many months. He never responded, smiling sardonically. A dark chide of how you were mistaken. Today seemed to be different.

"Oh (y/n)...That's not what you said to my brother when he took you," he disinterestedly added,"Did you?"

You whimpered, both at the sensation of the new cut and the calmness of his voice at the words. Without warning, his hands dug into the gash across your stomach, pulling your hair so that your head jerked up to meet his eyes.

"You are such a whore (y/n)."

Your eyes opened, full of rage, but took not more than a second to dissipate as you stared into your mate's eyes. He pressed deeper on the semi heeled wound, drawing fresh blood as you began to tear up. The tug at your hair prevented you from even closing your eyes, so you were forced to watch him, yet again.

"You are worthless," he spat at you, "Absolutely worthless. Good for nothing. You can see the future- predict every single thing millennium before it happens. Yet you are fucking worthless. You break everything you touch. Every single fucking thing."

The pain was almost blinding now, the breathless screams dying down in your throat at the sight of his rage-filled face.

"You broke my brother. You broke me. You Broke our family.."

His nails raked down your face as you sobbed, begging him to stop. He would never listen- What was different today then?

"..You broke Heaven."

The nails dug in, the scream finally breaking the barriers of denial and fear. This was Lucifer, and you had spent years here with him, but hearing all those words from Michael's mouth- You knew they were nothing but true for him.

"Father should never have created someone like you. Heaven didn't deserve this pain. But you did."

The weight shifted on your leg as you felt a crushing sensation, your bleeding face dripping onto the floor as you whimpered, "Lucifer..."

He scoffed, the velvet smooth voice cutting like razor through the atmosphere of agony,"And his name falls from your lips yet again. First his, then mine, then his yet again. Who shall be next?"

You were backpedaling now, hands on the burning floor as you dragged yourself back. He just mirrored your movements, stalking towards you like a predator, eyes fixed on your face. His golden wings...Those damned wings you were so used to having around you like a shelter..spread behind his back just as Michael would. The way his eyes fixated on your expression- The superiority in his visage a frightening image of the day he had destroyed the Legion.

Things were a blur- Your mind screaming out in denial against what your eyes saw, what your ears heard, what your skin felt. The familiar fear whenever Lucifer neared swelled in your Grace, but the face...

* * *

_"Michael?"_

_Mary smiled as she gestured to the Archangel. He smiled at you, taking your hand in his._

_"Many many millennium ago, Father asked me to protect you. I did as told. And somewhere along the way, I discovered you for who you really are. The day I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were special. i might not have been very good at expressing my feelings, But I have always been in love with you."_

_You blushed, bowing your head a little to look down at your white gown. It was just as you had always wanted it to be- Simple. Beautiful._

_"I know things haven't been picture perfect lately," he bit his lip and continued, "They probably never will be. Today I promise you that as long as I live, no harm shall befall you. I will gladly fight away anyone or everyone that dares put a finger on you. I will live with you. I will die with you. And if needed, I will gladly fall for you."_

_You wiped away a tear as he slipped the ring onto your finger, knowing that he meant every syllable he had uttered._

* * *

You didn't know when you had momentarily frozen to the spot.

You snapped out of your daze as a warm hand yanked you down, back hitting the bottom of the Cage. You shouted, but to whom you would never know. The gravel scratched your back as you found yourself pinned below, his body on top of yours. Not breaking eye contact with you, he leans down till you can feel his breath on your face.

It was too real. Way too real to be a hallucination.

"Are you scared (y/n)?"

You stared at him wide eyed. Did he really need to ask?

"You're scared? You are scared that I am angry! This isn't angry! You will KNOW when I'm ANGRY!"

His hands wrapped around your neck in a slow grip, each finger wrapping around a pulse point as your eyes rolled up, mouth falling open.

"I never truly protected you."

Your pulse hammered under his thumb.

"I never truly cared."

The tears welled up.

"I never truly wanted you."

You knew what was to come, and you prayed to him to stop wordlessly.

"I never ever loved you."

His hand raised into the air, ready to slam down into your face, and the choked words left your lips as a scream.

"Michael Stop!"

And with those 2 words, Lucifer knew he had won.


	13. It's Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is short, but significant

Lucifer had done it- he had taken his final revenge.

The scream of his name resounded in Michael's ears as he cradled his face in his hands. the cold floor of Heaven's court scraped his knees as he closed his eyes. He could practically feel his brother's ecstasy with each thing the said to you in hell.

_I never loved you._

Your broken defense led him on.

_You deserve this._

Your tears had stopped mattering long ago.

And when Lucifer finally leaned down, eyes gleaming as he stroke your cheek, Michael could practically feel the fear radiate through you.

"We never did consummate our marriage did we?"

Your and Michael's scream of agony was synchronized as Lucifer had his way with you yet the middle of all this, 3 words resounded through the cage. Three broken, strangled sobs.

"Michael, stop...Please..."

With a hiss, the viceroy stood up, glowering menacingly as he unfurled his wings, the 6 golden pairs stirring up dust, fire flashing in his eyes with his jaw clenched and fists balled up.

"Stefan?"

The young angel standing behind him- the golden eyes, black haired captain to the Heavenly Hosts- nodded and stepped forward.

"Yes Sir?"

"It's time."

* * *

It didn't matter anymore. Nothing vision was rarely clear-hazed either by tears, blood or both. The face in front of your eyes kept changing- you didn't even know anymore. His gleeful face was too close for comfort as he switched back to his own face.

Of course, you couldn't distinguish anymore.

A gentle finger trailed over the exposed bone of your cheek as he smiled.

"My pet. So good for me. My angel."

You didn't even wince.

"You know I created demons."

Your stared into the distance.

"I took a human soul and," he grasped at thin air before clenching his fists, "and I twisted it. And you know what I loved about it?

The power it gave me. The control was an aphrodisiac. I was a creator!"

His eyes widened as his cheerful voice dropped down an octave.

"But you know what I always craved?"

He held on to your finger less hand.

"I wanted," he hissed,"to feel an angel's grace the same way."

Your eyes widened as he finally smiled- a display of glittering blue eyes and blood stained teeth.

"You were so good for me angel. My love. My (y/n)."

Your eyes were in a deadlock.

"I want to put you out of this misery. My revenge is done- you don't need to suffer anymore angel. We can finally be together."

The slight gleam of insanity in his eyes glowed brighter with hope.

"As one."

A cold hand ghosted over your abdomen as the other stroked your hair affectionately.

"We can finally be together as equals."

Your head rolled back and hit the floor as your mouth fell open, eyes widened. His hand grasped around inside you as he searched for what he wanted. With a cry of joy, his fingers wrapped around your dormant grace.

You choked.

His free hand grabbed your hair and slammed his lips to yours as you felt his other hand twist. You had screamed yourself hoarse as you felt something change inside you.

The protest was dying. The sense of right and wrong was spinning on its axis.

His smile grew more sardonic.

"Almost done baby girl. We are going to be together. For ever."

Lucifer's face was so much closer. It was...different. It was all changing.

Suddenly everything recoiled.

You were pulled back violently as his hand shot out of you, leaving him perplexed.

Then, he saw something.

The primal scream left the fallen angel's lips as he clawed at your skin.

"No. Not this time. NO!"

You could feel something seer into your arm as you felt yourself rise- away from his screams, away from it all.

Blinding light and a loud buzz were all you remembered before you passed out.


	14. Freedom?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does getting out of the Cage really signify freedom?

_Metal. Cold. Pressing into your back._

_Darkness._

_Commotion. Shouting. Silence. Brightness. Hushed voices._

_The darkness enveloped you again._

* * *

Sam looked at Dean, waiting for a reaction from him, for he was at a loss for words.Dean pursed his lips as he took in the information he had just been given. Spending a weekend at Bobby's cabin, the boys had been uncertain, for there was hardly anyone alive who knew the location of the place. And out of all the people they were counting to see, Death had been the last one they could ever have imagined.

"How did you..."

The elder Winchester trailed off as he looked towards the Horseman, exasperated.

"There are very few people who have the power to reach into the Cage. God, of course, is the only one who can do it unaided. It was possible for me too, but I needed some assistance. Both from above and below. Turns out, the King of Hell was more than willing to co-operate."

"Crowley helped you? Why?"

Death turned slowly to him, "Samuel, you'd think after seeing souls being tortured in hell for millennia you would have seen it all. But there are some things that one just cannot bear. Especially not when it comes to Lucifer. And especially not after 700 years in Hell."

Dean felt his blood run cold as memories from his time in Hell came rushing back. He had been there for 40 years. The thought of what would have happened in 700 years...

"Where is she," he managed to ask meekly.

"I believe the Late Bobby Singer called it a panic room?"

Sam cast a glance towards his brother before hesitantly asking, "I understand it wasn't warded against you. But that room is angel proofed. How did you manage to get her in there?"

A scoff preceded his reply.

"At this very moment, I would say she isn't any more angelic than you," he spoke as he turned around and started to walk away, "Also, let Archangel Michael know she is here. This rescue was conducted on his demand of course."

And with that he was gone. All rationality lost, both of then slammed the door as Sam bolted towards the Panic room, leaving Dean shouting out to Cas.

* * *

Sam had reached the panic room in time, but his hands had froze as soon as he touched the handle. He could see the cot he had been chained to when he had been detoxing from demon blood. He could also see the metal bars soiled with blood. Waiting for Dean and Cas suddenly seemed like a much better option.

* * *

The two of them came soon enough, but it took a few moments for them to gather the courage to push open the metal door. Taking a deep breath, Dean moved forward and pushed open the door. And then they froze.

They had been hunting for more than a two decades, but nothing could have prepared them for this. It took Dean half a second to excuse himself on the pretext of finding a way to summon Michael, and Sam ran after him, leaving Cas alone in the room, staring at what used to be his elder Sister.

* * *

The wind was beginning to pick up, signaling an incoming storm as the clouds rolled in, bringing with them the first drizzle. Michael walked along the deserted road, wings tucked in behind his back as they slowly faded out of sight. His thoughts just as turbulent the moment he reached the door of the old cabin. He had lied to the Hosts, he had risked everything he had just for this. Praying fervently to his Father that all this had not been in vain, he pushed open the door.

* * *

Dean had managed to choke out a few words as Sam sat in the kitchen. Michael could see the terror in their eyes as he turned to move towards the Panic room. He had prayed for this moment since your Fall, but the second his eyes fell on Castiel, the younger Angel leaning against the closed door and blue eyes tear filled as he took his leave, something dying inside of him. Opening the door with a sense of finality, he stepped in. And then his heart sank.

He had seen corpses look more alive.Your head dangled at an awkward angle off the pillow, your face covered with blood as one of your cheekbones lay exposed. Your wrists bore burn marks and frostbites from having been held behind your back too much.Michael closed his eyes as he spotted the stubs of your fingers on your hands, and those of your wings on your back, burned out from existence by his brother's raw grace.

He staggered forward as though drunk- One step. Two steps. And then he fell down to his knees, sobbing, with his head bowed, begging you for forgiveness.

* * *

For the next week, Michael didn't leave your side for a single moment. Not that you had any idea of course. You needed to be healed, but he was unsure of what exposing you to his raw grace would do to you now. So he decided to take it slow. It was difficult, and he knew that heaven must know you were free now, and must also be wondering where the Viceroy was. But that was an issue for another time.

He cupped your face in his hands, eyes closed as he muttered something wordlessly under his breath, healing all the damage that had been done inside you, completely oblivious to Castiel's presence.

"How is she?"

He opened his eyes, the dark blue glow in them fading as he turned to look over his shoulder, not leaving your face.

"I would tell you she is better but I can't lie anymore. Not to you. Not to myself"

He looked down as the younger angel moved forward, standing behind him as he looked at you. You had trained him when he had been a cherub. You had taught him compassion. And now...

"Her wounds?"

When he spoke, Michael's voice was almost inaudible, "Lucifer left his marks like writings in stone. In the Cage, anything he does is absolute. He is God in his Cage."

He scoffed at his own blasphemy before he continued,"I have done the best that I could brother. But it isn't good enough. It'll never be good enough. The things he did to her.... They are engraved in her brain. No matter how much I heal her, it won't matter. It'll never matter."

* * *

_A broken, sobbing voice. An emotionless stoic voice. Brightness._

_Warmth. Something on your face._

* * *

"I swore to protect you (y/n). I'm so sorry. I failed. I failed you. I always have. I;m sorry. I'm so sorry."

A single tear fell on your face as he leaned down, head against your shoulder as he mumbled noiselessly for forgiveness against your skin. It broke Castiel to see the most powerful being in Heaven reduced to this, and just he was about to lean forward to put an assuring hand on his Brother's shoulder, he saw it.

The gentle, struggling flutter of eyelashes. The contortion of your face in momentary pain. And then, the slow opening of your eyes as you stared blindly at the vent above your head, eyes barely open.

"Michael?"

He felt it too, sitting upright so his face was above yours. His eyes were tear filled, lips quivering as you focused your eyes on his face. Slowly, it all became clear- the head of dark brown hair, the storm blue eyes staring at you as his lips struggled to form words. Your lips parted, breath hitching as your body went rigid under his touch. Castiel shot Michael a worried glance.

Before either of them could react, your eyes shot open and you backed of against the headboard before letting out a scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so I would really like to hear what you guys have to say about this. About Michael. About yourself. About that scream and the end. And the road from now on.  
> Comment ahoy!  
> PS- I'm sorry


	15. Convalescence

"What's happening," Castiel shouted at the Archangel, at a loss of words to see the absolute terror in your eyes as Michael sat straight, expression broken. The Winchesters chose the moment to push the door open, having heard the commotion from the Guest room where you and Michael had been for the week since you had been shifted to the bunker. They shot Cas a questioning glare, just as Michael extended a hand to you.

"(Y/n) it's me..."

"NO!"

You raised your hand almost reflexively as though prepared to dodge a blow, the broken sob leaving your lips as backed off further against the wall. Wordlessly, Michael stood up and walked off, disappearing at the threshold after momentarily looking at Castiel. The moment he was gone, you looked up, shocked at what had just transpired. Castiel gingerly moved forward, sitting on the edge of the bed as spoke softly

"It's over Sister. It's over. You are free."

With that, he gently clasped your hands between his own as an assurance and a proof. None of them missed how you flinched when his skin touched yours.

* * *

"What was that?"

Dean shot Cas a worried glance as he entered the bunker, having probably talked to Michael. He wordlessly sat down on the empty chair, running a hand through his hair before speaking. Every syllable seemed broken.

"Lucifer hurt her Dean. He hurt her bad. He hurt her in so many...ways," tears pricked at the corner of his eyes as he broke off, "He took away her grace. He burned off her wings. He v..violated her. And for the past 5 months, he did it with Michael's face."

Sam stared at Cas, eyes wide with horror as Dean gripped the top of his chair till his knuckles turned white, the same words going through their minds- This never would have happened had she not met us.

Little did they know.

* * *

Michael didn't visit you since that day. Not when you were awake of course. He watched you of course, not having gone to Heaven since you had returned. He watched you stare at the walls of the room, expecting them to disappear any second and for the dreaded ambiance to return. He saw the way you jumped every time the doorknob twisting, still anticipating another assault. You hadn't talked since that day, gesturing with merely a nod and a shake of your head whenever either of the brothers spoke to you. He watched you stare out at the wall aimlessly as Castiel spoke to you of Heaven, of the past, of things that were alien to you. And when Castiel one day pulled you into a hug, overwhelmed by what Lucifer had reduced you to, Michael watched a single tear trail down your cheek as your dead eyes continued stare just where he was hidden.

* * *

You hadn't let anyone touch you. Of course, no one had made an attempt either. Michael had cleaned the blood off your wounds when he had started healing you, but the blood in your hair from the day Lucifer had bashed your head with the hilt of his sword remained as it was. You were dressed in a plane white dress, a stark contrast to your bruised skin and bloodied hair. It took weeks for you to leave your room for the first time. It had been an unfortunately times event, with a storm raging and the boys out for a hunt as Castiel had to leave due to an emergency for the same.You had stumbled out of your room, clutching your dress around your body as the cold made your shiver.

You hadn't been cold since...

The bunker was dark, all lights closed as the rain lashed against the windows.

"Castiel?"

Your voice was but a whimper as you shivered.

"Sam? Dean?"

The panic rose as you staggered towards the stairs, eyes darting around the empty house as you descended a couple of steps before sitting down on one of them. You were hyperventilating as you closed your eyes, lips moving in inaudible prayer for someone. Anyone.

"Mich..."

The name died on your lips as you broke down, sobbing into your hands as a silent flutter of wings made his presence known. You didn't turn around. You couldn't. Michael stood rooted to the spot, bent down at the top of the stairs, merely an arm's length from your trembling form. All you needed was to lean back into the confort of his touch. All he needed was to stretch his arm to stroke your hair just like he used to. But none of you budged an inch. The storm raged on, as the two of you sat there motionless for hours, drawing comfort from each other's presence.

But when you decided to turn around, to speak, to ask, any and every thought on your mind died on your lips as the same face came into focus, and the memories came flooding back. Every wound seemed fresh again, all the pain felt raw, and you merely stood up and walked away yet again, fleeing to your room as Michael just sat there- The Viceroy on his knees, feeling as powerless as he had felt when he had pushed his brother out of heaven.

* * *

You had stared at the pile of clothes and towels lying in one corner of your room for the past 1 month. Everytime you would think of mustering the courage to stand up, uncertain fear crippled you. Fear of being locked away. Fear of being alone. Again.

It had been 2 days since the storm. Something had changed. You could feel it. You wouldn't be bold enough to call it boldness, but you weren't crippled anymore. It was finally the day when you decided to push yourself off the bed and make your way to the shower.

You needed to start afresh. And you required to be cleansed. Mentally more than physically.

* * *

You stepped into the shower, turning on the water as you slipped your dress off your shoulder. You stepped under the stream of water, running your hand through your hair as the water at your feet became a faint shade of red.  You had always scoffed at the idea of a glass cubicle for a shower. Come to think of it, it felt better than a closed curtained one now.

The blood and dirt ebbed away from your body, calming down the tensed muscles of your back. The water was getting warmer by the second. Something you brushed off. It felt nice. A little pleasant. Lost in the feeling of the warm water on your skin, you closed your eyes, not wanting to look at yourself in the mirror right in front of you. You couldn't see what you had become now. 

In this move, however, you also failed to see the frost creep up on the glass. Without warning, you were pulled back, the scream dying against the ice cold hand as your eyes shot open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. Not Sorry.


	16. Missed me Angel?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: mentions of Violence, sexual assault and slight nudity  
> Proceed with caution. Lets welcome Hallucifer.

The frigid skin pressing into your back, you felt your blood run cold as your eyes fell on the mirror opposite to you.

The familiar head of dirty blonde hair. The cold breath against your air. 

"Missed me angel?"

You were barely aware of the now practically boiling water sliding down your skin, as you were left pressed yet again between hot and cold.

"I don't need to gag you, do I angel? It isn't like you'll be speaking anytime soon."

  
The hand fell back, grabbing your wrists and pinning them behind your back as you  _feel_ his smirk against your neck.  


"No...This..."

You hadn't turned to face him. You couldn't move, even if you wanted to.  
Your eyes were frozen on your image in the mirror as he looked up, those damned sky blue eyes meeting your dead (e/c) ones as you gasped for breath. Lucifer's head rested casually on your shoulder, nestled in the crook of your neck, one hand gripping your wrists behind your back as the other made its way around your waist.

"You thought it was over? So soon?"

You flinched when his hand made contact with your waist, closing your eyes.  
You couldn't see this happen. Not again.

A sharp tug at your wet hair and you screamed, the sound muffled by his hand.

"You are to look at me when I talk to you, have I made that clear?"  


The tears pricked at the corner of your eyes as your knees suddenly felt a lot weaker. Silence. Another tug, this time sharper. You screamed again, the tears finally breaking through as you barely managed to choke out the syllable.

"Yes"  
A smirk.  
The hands moved back to their previous position before roughly turning you around, catching you just as your foot nearly slipped. Your back slammed against the glass wall of the cubicle as you faced him for the first time. His malevolent gaze on your face didn't falter a bit as the water ran down his face, down those blonde hair clinging to his face as he pressed you further back, face merely inches from yours.

"You belong to me (y/n)," he hissed as you felt his his grip of your wrists tighten, the tears streaming down your face as you stood frozen like a rag doll.  
_  
"Mind."_

The pain. The shouts in your head. How worthless you were. How heaven would never want you back. How Michael would never even look at you. How Lucifer was the only family you had. Screams echoed through your head.

" _Body_ "

His hands grabbed your waist as he pulled you flush against his body, using his free hand to wipe the steam off the glass and using the same hand to turn your head back over your shoulder, only to see the imprint on a hand burnt into your back.

_"Soul"_

Somewhere along the way, his hand made way flat on your stomach, the other holding your shoulders in place back against the glass as he delved inside to continue the mission he had left in the Cage. The scream finally broke through as you thrashed against the glass in vain, vaguely aware of when your head hit the glass hard enough to draw blood, or when Lucifer had again slammed those ice cold lips to yours. You tasted blood as you felt the warmth spread down your back. You shut your eyes as the pain got worse, and you could hear Lucifer curse in Enochian.

A deep bite on your lower lip and your eyes open again, only this time you were no longer pressed against the glass but that so familiar metal table where he had waterboarded you the first time. The water was still there, turning colder as you could see his smile grow more sinister.

"You were always here. You never left. And you will never leave. You are bound to me. You always will be. Then. Now. Forever."

Your grip on the table failed as you noticed the sudden lack of fingers yet again. The heat was suffocating you- the boiling water, the hell fire. The cold bit into your skin- the freezing table and Lucifer's ice cold skin bare against yours. A broken sob leaves your lips at the unwanted yet all to well known intrusion as your back arches of the table, the scream dying in your throat as the pain hit its pinnacle.

"No...Stop," the pleas go unheard as Lucifer's face contorts, confused, and he stops moving. Your back slumps back against the table as you feel blood against your cheek. From the corner of your eye, you could see his expression change- eyes widening with realization before smiling, a wide smile- teeth glistening with blood as he looked down at you. He backs all the way out, retracting his hand as well before he leans down, foreheads and lips barely touching as he ghosted one hand above you abdomen all too gently.

"I told you we are bonded Angel," he cooed against your lips, "Now more then ever."

That was all you remembered before you blanked out, the boiling water of the shower cascading down your body as you slumped against the glass, bleeding and utterly alone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is dark. But quite essential to the storyline. Comment your views below!


	17. Stairway to Heaven

"(y/n)? (Y/N) !?"

You floated in and out of consciousness as you felt something against your skin. A pair of hands gently cradling your face.  
You opened your eyes and stiffened almost reflexively, only to be greeted with the sight of Michael, kneeling in front of you, his face wrecked and eyes bloodshot as his grip on you slackened. He bowed his head, waiting for you to recoil in fear.

Instead, you didn't budge an inch.

For the first time, you managed to look up and at him, eyes tear filled as you trembled. You tried to sit upright, breath hitching as the pain shot through your body. You fingers dug into the blood stained shirt you were now wearing as you steadied your breath. Michael was at a loss for words, looking at you as though he was expecting to wake up any second. You raised your uninjured hand, fingers numb as you let them gently brush against his skin.

_This is real._

You noticed the way his eyes fluttered shut, lips parting as he breathed out your name. You don't remember how long the two of you stayed like that. You don't even remember who initiated the hug. All you remembered was that this time you didn't flinch his arms wrapped around you as you buried your face in the crook of his neck, sobbing as he mumbled assurances against your hair.

"It's OK (y/n) , I got you. You're OK. I got you."

But the second you lifted your head to speak, your eyes fell on the doorway. Hands fisted in Michael's shirt, you felt your heart drop as the familiar face turned around to give a smirk before winking and disappearing, leaving you gasping for breath as the mark on your back burned.

* * *

"What happened?"  
Dean stood up from the chair cautiously as Sam turned to look up from the book he was reading. Michael walked into the library, blood stained shirt clinging to his body as he started speaking.

"Castiel is with her. He can help with the lacerations on her head," he paused for a second, took a deep breath and then resumed," She hallucinated. She saw him."

Sam's eyes widened with concern as he blurted out, "But the blood. The injuries?"

The four of them had been seated in the library, Michael staring blindly out of the window, when they had heard your screams. They had all rushed up immediately, but Michael had been the first one on the scene. You were lying under the shower in a fading pool of your own blood, a deep cut in your head where it had been smashed against the glass repeatedly. Your wrists had burn marks, and there was blood on your thighs and your stomach. 

"It wasn't just a hallucination. He was reaching out to her from the Cage."  
"But how?"

"It isn't supposed to be this strong. Usually. They were together for a long time in the Cage. And one undeniable thing about my brother is the fact that he can manipulate anyone into anything," he paused, sighed, and spoke, "But despite everything, the link between then isn't supposed to be strong enough to do any physical damage. This isn't supposed to happen unless there is any physical link. I don't understand why."

"700 years is a long time Brother," Castiel spoke as he moved into the study, looking at the three of them gravely, "She's asking for you."

Michael's breath hitched as he stared at Castiel for what seemed like a really long time, before the younger angel gave him an assuring nod. In the blink of an eye, he was gone.

"Is she OK Cas?"

He merely shook his head in a no.

* * *

"I waited for you, you know."

The mattress next to you dipped gently as you continued staring out of the window. The two of you sat in silence before Michael finally turned to you, fingers barely touching your face as he turned your head to face him.

"I prayed to you. Every second. Every day. I screamed for you. I screamed till he choked the air out of my lungs. I cried for you. Waiting for a sign from you," you were stammering as you continued staring at the floor, " I know you heard me Michael. I know you heard every invocation. Every time.Then why....."

You broke off, taking a deep breath and looking up into his eyes, your own tear filled as spoke with finality, "Why did it take you 6 years to come for me?"

Words eluded him as he continued to look on. He wanted to say something, anything to make you feel better. But there was one thing he knew beyond a shadow of doubt- That this was one question he could never answer. Michael was down on his knees, your calloused hands between his own. 

"I'm so sorry. I'm..... Forgive me (y/n). I am so sorry Angel. I truly am."

His head resting in your lap, he failed to notice how you went rigid at the nickname he had used so many times, stomach churning as you steadied your breath at the faint sound of a laughter in the distance. You were so far away from being fine.

* * *

It must have been the first night you voluntarily decided to sleep, rather than slump back against the pillow as you continued staring at the door. You were barely conscious, slipping into the sweet abyss of sleep as a hand softly stroked your hair.  


> _"You need to stop doing that Michael."  
>  A low chuckle above you resounded through the room in his Heaven, as he resumed the gentle ministrations, smirking when he saw you let out a breathy moan as his nails lightly raked through your hair.  
> "I told you you'd like it."  
> "Shut up."_

You sighed contently at the soft strokes, not bothering to even open your eyes as you finally slipped out of consciousness.

_ "There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure _ _"_

__His voice was low as he hummed to you, hand trailing down your arm.

_"_ _ Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings _ _"_

__He pressed a kiss to your temple as his other hand stroked your stomach absentmindedly.

_"_ _In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings "_

"My Angel, sleep tight. You will need all your strength from now on."  
 _  
_ _"_ _Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven_ _"  
_  
You doubled over in pain as you screamed into the pillow, the tears breaking through as you turned back on your back, clutching your abdomen as you coughed up blood- screaming, praying to Michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whistles innocently*


	18. Shame

Michael's unfortunately timed visit to Heaven had let you in the house with the Winchesters and Castiel, with the latter answering your cry for help almost immediately. In the blink of an eye he was seated in front of you, holding your hands apart as you shook violently under his gaze.

"Hey. Hey. HEY! Look at me sister. Hey! You're OK. There's no one here. You're not hurt. It's OK"

You looked up confused, before looking down at yourself.

Your dress was stained with blood, with more pooling where you sat. You looked up at him again, whimpering, "What are you talking about? The .. The bl... The blood!?"

"There is no blood here sister. Anywhere. Look for yourself."

Castiel gently turned your around to face the mirror on the wall, your back lightly touching his chest as he urged you to look up. And you did.

"Hello my Angel."

A soft smile against your cheek as he wrapped his arms around your waist, a little too gently, as though afraid that you may break. And you knew this was worse. Because you knew Lucifer as the fallen angel who took anything he wanted, no matter how he did it. You were used to the blows. You were used to the torture. You were used to the pain. You were used to being choked and violated till you couldn't breath.

But not this. This was something new. This was something unfamiliar. You knew there had to be a purpose for this but this- this scared you more than anything else.

"I miss you already," a gentle breath against your lips as he pulled you flush against him, "Caritas mea. Angelus meus."

_My love. My Angel._

"We are bonded," he whispered, voice still authoritative, "And no one can change that. Not you. Not Michael. Not Castiel. Not even Heaven. Now, no one can break us apart. And I," he yanked your hair gently as you turned to him, trembling as he tipped your face up with a single cold finger, "can't wait to see you again. And trust me Angel, I will. I will see you again."

You blinked.

Castiel's furrowed face was inches from yours as he looked at you, concerned. Slowly, you turned to the mirror, only to see your demented face- the dark circles under your eyes and the still healing bruises dotting your skin. And that was all. No blood. No cuts. No bleeding. No Lucifer.

* * *

 It was suddenly too much- the walls of your room too constricting, the bunker's interior way to familiar for comfort. You didn't know what had made you take the risk, but suddenly- you needed change. You ached for it.

The boys had decided to crash at the Bunker after an exhausting week long hunt, leaving Castiel to go for the supply run. When you had meekly suggested going with him, the looks you got from Dean and the angel were those of uncertainty. Sam, however, seemed happy.

"If you're sure you are ready for it, I think there is no harm in it. In fact, it might even be a good thing. It isn't like she is going alone! Cas will be with her all the time."

And that is how you and Castiel ended up in the departmental store, the latter picking out beer for Dean and organic fruits for Sam, looking confused at the expression the cashier gave him when he asked him the directions of where the items would be available. He still wasn't apt to the concept of irony. You couldn't help but smile, catching a glimpse of your own face in the mirror. 

You couldn't remember when you had last smiled.

You turned around, walking slowly across the deserted aisle, lost in thought. The store was surprisingly empty today, and the cashier didn't seem to be in a good mood either.

"I'll wait near the car outside."

Castiel turned to you, exchanging a soft smile and a nod with you before turning back to argue with the cashier about the lack of pie in the store.

* * *

The clouds thundered overhead as a gust of wind blew, signalling an incoming thunderstorm. You made your way to the parking lot behind the store. It had been so long since you had stepped outside, and it did feel refreshing. For the first time, it didn't scare the hell out of you, being on your own, even if was just for a few moments.

"Well well... if it isn't the harlot herself."

You turned around violently, alarmed at the sound of fluttering wings before finding yourself face to face with...

"Bartholomew?"

His words took some time to sink in, similar to a wound being carved slowly into flesh. The two of you had been in the same Garrison till you had been elected the hand of the Keeper in the Garden Of Eden. The two of you had been close even after that, with him being one of the few angels who you were friends with in Heaven.

"Don't take my name from that whore tongue of yours," he practically screamed at you as eyed him, horror spreading across your face. He took a couple of steps back before calling out to no one, "Hey! Look what the cat dragged in!"

There was a sound of wings fluttering as 5 angels appeared behind him, eyes wide as they bore the same expression of contempt on their faces. You didn't know all of them by name, but only by face. They had been newly inducted into the Garrison of Peter before your fall. Your train of thought was interrupted by a sneer from one of the angels walking towards you now. He was much taller than you, long unkempt black hair falling to his shoulders as he stared at you with his cold grey eyes. 

"Can you imagine the reward," he spoke slowly, enunciating every syllable as you felt cold metal pressed against your neck, "if we were to bring her head to Heaven."

You froze, looking behind him to see Bartholomew look at his partners, disinterested.

"It isn't worth it brother Azrael," the angel you recognized as Orifiel said, "Is it really worth dirtying your hands with her blood?"

Azrael sighed, before pushing you against the wall before taking a threatening step towards you, closing in on the distance between him and you, before he spat at you.

"Slut."

You felt your body stiffen as you closed your eyes, fists clenching empty air as you stopped breathing. You heard the footfalls as they walked away before disappearing in a flutter of wings. You felt the wetness slide down your cheek as you opened your eyes, shaking.

Your eyes met a pair of wide brown eyes, peering at you from behind glasses. A young girl, one of the angels who Bartholomew had called, was staring at you, horrified, mouth opening and closing as though she couldn't get the words to come out. You saw panic and horror in hers. Unknown to you, she was Ambriel, one of the lower level Angels and Naomi's informant on Earth. Some unknown realization dawned upon her as she looked up your body and finally into your eyes. She saw humiliation in yours.   
   
That was all you knew before she ran, sprinting across the empty parking lot before disappearing in a flutter of wings.

* * *

   
You and Cas didn't speak as you drove back in silence. He had heard the commotion, and had come outside just in time for Ambriel to disappear, leaving you alone in the parking lot, eyes closed, rooted to the spot. He couldn't muster the courage to ask you anything about it, except pulling you in for a hug as you stood there like a corpse- not moving, not breathing. The second her had opened the door of the car, you stepped out into the rain, wordlessly moving into the bunker and towards your room- ignoring Castiel's defeated voice calling out your name, ignoring the brothers' joint gaze on concern as you climbed the stairs. 

The door behind you clicked shut as you slumped against the cold frame, the tears finally breaking through as you sobbed into your hands, sitting in the darkness of your room as your hands clutched your hair. And this time, as a cold hand gently rested against your shoulder, you didn't even flinch.


	19. Fate and Destiny

The bunker door closed with a soft thud as the Winchesters and Castiel left, giving you some space after hearing what had happened. The surroundings fell silent, except for the sound of the drizzle outside and that of your labored breathing. You hadn't moved since, taking the time to calm your nerve as you trembled from shame. For the first time since Lucifer had gripped you and jumped into the Cage, for the first time since you had so innocently given your consent, for the first time since you had screamed yourself dumb as you felt every ounce of your grace and every feather of your wings reduce to dust- did you feel alienated from Heaven.

The contempt etched on the faces of the angels you had trained with, the disgust on the face of junior angels you had inducted into the Garrisons felt as though it had been seared into your brain. And it felt familiar. Gut wrenching familiar. You remember the expressions as Lucifer had been dragged out the the outskirts of Heaven, the Angels eyeing him with repulsion as he was branded the Devil, Satan, the Dark Prince. You remembered Raphael's disgust as he spat on him and kicked him, only in time for you to clutch Michael's hand harder.

A cold hand against your face made you open your eyes gingerly, and for once you saw the irony. Two fallen angels, face to face, both here as a result of the other's actions.

"I never understood why you fought me so much Angel. Ever since you fell, I have always wondered this."

"Wh..." you gulped before resuming, "What do you mean?"

His expression softened a bit, illuminated by a stroke of lightening in the distance as he stroked your cheek with a thumb, "Did you never see how similar we are? How indistinguishable our stories are?"

The rain splattered against the window as he continued, "You and I both fell. We both fell as a result of love. Mine, for Father. Yours, for Michael. It wasn't easy for either of us, we were both leaving behind someone we loved. You left my brother, and I left you." 

Silence.

"We were both judged. Held in contempt by every living creature in Heaven for doing what we believed in. We are both outcasts. We are both fallen. You are here because of me, and I am here because of you." 

You let the truth in his words sink in, slowly. 

"Why?" 

You choked out the broken syllable. You had wanted answers for so long. You had waited for this so long it ached now.

"Because it is fate. It is destiny. As cheesy as it may sound, you and I are meant to be together." 

You would have scoffed. 

"Have you ever thought about where we would be if I never had fallen?" 

You felt a lump in your throat as you opened your mouth to say something but decided against it. Because you already knew the answer. 

"If I hadn't fallen, we would have ended up together. I loved you. With all my heart. And you know so did you. You know the ending had been planned out the second I had laid eyes on you as I sat next to Father's throne. We didn't know it, but the Moirai did. Atropos had already woven our threads together."

The Fates. The three sisters. The controllers of destiny.

"So imagine their dismay when one day Father announced the decision of creating humans. The second that decision was made, they knew what was to happen. Before I had even thought of rebelling, they knew. Clotho had predicted it. Atropos had confirmed it. But the problem was- You. Lachesis had laid out your destiny the day you were created. And this, this changed everything. For the both of us. And they could not see that happen. So they spun their thread anew, tweaking it here and there, making minor adjustments, changing the courses of our destiny." 

"But why me? Out of all the angels in Heaven, out of all the creatures in the realms," you looked up into those cold blue orbs, eyes questioning him,"Why did it have to be me?"

A small smirk. 

"Why indeed. Why were you, despite being only a dominion, elected as the Hand of the Keeper? Why did Father chose you personally? Why were you, out of all angels, the one who caught my eye? Because it was your Fate- writing in stone. Out of your hands. Since the beginning. Your walking into the Garden of Eden that day was your fate. However.."

He trailed off, and you could feel his tone get colder.

"... Your telling Father and Michael about what you saw, that was your own choice," you looked up to see the malice in those eyes, "And that is the second you shaped your own destiny."

You gulped, freezing under his touch but hypnotized by these revelations. You looked down at yourself, the familiar lurch of your stomach as you saw yourself- broken beyond repair.

"I did this?"

"Did I ever tell you how beautiful I find your pain my Angel?"

You had heard this a million times before. After every assault, after every fit of violence, after every time he killed you in the Cage and brought you back to life, every time he carved his mark in your skin. You merely nodded, just as he wanted. 

"I know what us going on in your head. Why did I do this to you?"

You wanted to nod, but you couldn't. You couldn't deny this.

"I always loved the way my name sounded on your lips My Angel. Back when were in Heaven. It sounded....Divine. When you fell with me, it seemed only fitting that we get our ending together, even if it was this way. But all I heard from your lips were pleas to my brother. His name. I seemed almost sacrilegious. But every time we were together," he leaned forward as you reflexively moved back, his voice almost cooing, "You were there. Acknowledging me. Your eyes back on me and for once, truly present there with me."

You could feel the disgust, at whom you didn't know, but it felt like a knot in your stomach, a hitch in your breath.

"It is sick. It is twisted beyond imagination. Sometimes, I even get disgusted by it. But the fact now, so many millennial later, is this- You don't love me. And I can't love. Every emotion I had was burnt away with my Grace as I fell. But that doesn't change the truth that we are bonded. And..."

"Why do you keep saying that!"

Your voice came across sharper than you had intended, the pitch too high as you pushed him away. These words had become your nightmare. And you couldn't here them anymore.

"We are not bonded. We are not mates. That may have been what the Fates wanted but we," you stood up, with him mirroring your movements, looking at you with a mix of amusement and confusion, "are not bonded. Not by Grace. Not by souls. Not by love."

"Some bonds are stronger than that my Angel."

You turned around, slamming open the door as you made your way downstairs, just in time to hear him disappear. The stormed down one step at a time, mind a whirlpool of emotions as you analyzed his parting words.

"Bonds stronger than those of..."

Pain. Sudden. Blinding.

You gasped as your knees gave out, hands reflexively clutching your middle as you hit the cold step. And then it hit you. An old teaching. The first time in the Garrison. The guardian Mother Mary gently touching your shoulder as she spoke.

_"My child, the only bond stronger than those of love, are those forged by blood. Remember that."_

You were running before you knew it- back up the stairs, across the Bunker's living room, down the corridors leading to the outside world. You pushed the door open and ran, the wet grass against your bare feet, the wind against your skin. Your face was wet- Was it the rain? Was it the tears?

You ran till you couldn't run anymore, finally stopping as you heard the storm rage around you. You were shaking, but it had nothing to do with the wetness or the cold. You opened your mouth, but you didn't even know what to say.

You stood there for what felt like a century, before you felt the cold arms wrap around you from behind, gingerly resting on your belly as you could feel his smile against your skin yet again.

"Damien Morningstar. It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it."

With these words, you finally _felt_ yourself fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that was long! But... yeah.


	20. Conflict

"No." The horror in your voice was undeniable as you could see your world collapse around you. This was the last nail in your  coffin. You felt yourself get turned around, face to face with Lucifer yet again.  
  
"What have you done," you mumbled as you looked at him eyes wide with fear as your voice quivered, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"  
  
You pushed him away as you stumbled back a few steps, before collapsing to your knees, clutching your head as you mumbled a constant hymn of No to yourself.  
  
The thunder of the storm overhead was barely audible over the deafening thump of your heartbeat in your ears. This couldn't be happening. Not now. Not after everything.  
  
 "What's wrong my angel?"  
  
He was down on his knees in front of you, each hand wrapped around a wrist of yours as he brought them down in front of you. His hair were plastered down his face, the water running down his skin- an eerie reminder of the first time he had killed you in the Cage. His eyes searched for something in your face as he looked at you.  
  
"What are you so upset about?"  
  
You yourself didn't know when your hand made contact with his face, his head jerking to the side as the sound of the slap resounded around you.  
  
"You...... You patronizing, condescending Bastard! Don't you see what you have done?"  
  
He turned to you so quickly you didn't even have the time to react. His hand gripped your chin, forcing you to look up to him as he spoke.  
  
"What did I do? Don't you see- Our son is going to be the most powerful being to have walked the face of the Earth since Father left. Our son is going to have all realms under his hand. Our son is going to avenge all the wrongs done to the both of us. Our son..."  
  
 "..IS GOING TO BE THE ANTICHRIST!"  
  
Your voice cracked as you screamed out the words to him, letting them sink in. You had heard the legends of the Antichrist since your induction, and had told the same stories to those who were inducted after you. And today you bore the enemy of Heaven in you. The destroyer of peace. The spawn of the dark Prince.  
  
"Do you think Heaven will welcome him with open arms? Shower petals on me?"  
  
When he spoke, his voice was calm- just as it was when Lucifer was at his most dangerous.  
  
"No one will lay a finger on MY son. On OUR son. I will destroy anyone that even thinks of doing so. And my Angel," his grip on your chin tightened painfully as he spoke, "That includes you."  
  
A flap of wings, the blink of an eye, and he was gone. The wet grass under your knees, cold wind around you was the last thing on your mind.  
  
"MICHAEL!"  
  
The scream of agony resounded through the deserted grounds.  


* * *

Michael's hands were gripping the edge of the table so tightly it was beginning to get charred under his touch. His eyes were fixed in a deadpan stare at the young Angel in front of him.  
  
Ambriel hesitantly gulped before looking up at Naomi, who looked just as horrified as everyone else present there.  
  
"Ambriel," she jumped when the Viceroy called her name, "Are you...Are you sure of this?"  
  
A moment of silence preceded her nodding.  
  
"Yes Archangel Michael, I saw it with my own eyes. She and the Seraphim Castiel were in a store when Bartholomew's faction came across her. Azrael wanted to kill her. But they all left. That is when I saw.....It."  
  
The Hosts turned to Michael, unable to say anything. The name was etched in his mind- Almost like it was being screamed into his ear.  
__  
Damien Morningstar.  
  
Michael closed his eyes, finally letting out the breath he didn't know he had been holding. He had spent the past day convincing the Hosts that saving you from the Cage had not been choice, but a necessity. They had sympathized, of course- Everyone excluding Naomi, who hadn't been hesitant to voice her concern.  
  
Voices raised, and a few hundred arguments later, the issue had been resolved- Only in time for a pale faced, hyperventilating Ambriel to fling open the doors and call for Naomi.  
  
When the two of them had walked back into the Hall, the lower Angel trailing behind Naomi, the latter's expression was stoic.  
She had looked straight at Michael, before expressionlessly speaking.  
  
"(y/n) is with child."  
  
The silence that had fallen across the hall prevailed since then, the same horrified glances being exchanged. Michael was still standing, head bowed, lost in thought.  
  
"All due respect Michael, but why are we still standing here?"  
  
He looked up, eyes so dead some of the Younger members of the Hosts looked down.  
  
"And what do you suggest we do Naomi?"  
  
She ignored the coldness in his voice, before walking forward and speaking.

"We do what has been done from so many centuries. We do the only thing that can be done here."  
  
She paused for a second.  
  
"We kill them."  
  
Everyone in the Hall turned to face her, gulping nervously as they waited for Michael to respond.  
  
"So you, Seraphim Naomi, suggest we now become killers?"  
  
She scoffed.  
  
"Killers? Now you have morals, Michael?"  
  
Ambriel cowered almost reflexively, falling back a few steps as Michael paced towards them.  
  
"This is not Murder. This is the farthest thing from it. Heaven. has been killing Nephiliums since the dawn of mankind. How is this any different?"  
  
Michael was in front of her now, not saying a word.  
  
"But no- It is different. This isn't any Nephilium we are talking about. It is the Damned Antichrist himself! Are we supposed to let him walk the face of this Earth just because it is YOUR mate who happens to bear him?"  
  
"Are you trying to question my loyalties, Seraphim?"  
  
Michael's tone was harsh enough for Naomi to take a step back, before taking a deep breath to compose herself.  
  
"I simply wish to remind you that it was you who passed the law for all Nephiliums to be slaughtered after the first one was created. I hope you remember."  
  
She took a step forward, face to face with him, voice dropping to a whisper.  
  
"Or do I need to remind you of the day you killed the Nephilium I was bearing."  
  
Michael remembered- He remembered her pleads for forgiveness. He remembered his requests to let the child live. He remembered her nails digging into his back as he smote the abomination. He remembered. And apparently so did she.  
  
"Is this what it is about Naomi?"  
  
"This is about justice Michael. Nephiliums are abominations- I know. But if those are abominations,then what would you call your mate's spawn?"  
  
Michael was silent- expression softening just a bit as he let her words sink in.  
  
"She isn't strong enough to survive this."  
  
This wasn't meant for the Hosts- it was only meant for Naomi's ears.  
  
"Michael," she spoke calmly," She bears inside her the Antichrist in flesh and blood. Do you think she'll survive the pregnancy?"  
  
With that she was gone, turning on her heels, gesturing Ambriel to follow her- the latter angel looking at Michael with tear filled eyes before leaving.  The Hosts took their leave one by one, telling their Viceroy to tell them in case of any development.  
  
"Michael," Mary sighed as she put a wrinkled hand on his shoulder, "You need to hurry. We don't have time."  
  
He looked up at her, voice cracking.  
  
"What do I do sister?"  
  
"I told you this before your Brother's fall too Michael - officio antequam amor. Duty before love. I am sorry. I truly am. But you don't have a choice."  
  
She bowed and took her leave, closing the door behind her.  
  
Michael closed his eyes, sighing as he sat down, drowning out your scream yet again. He had hoped it would all be over now that you were rescued. he had not anticipated it to be only the beginning.  
  
"Stefan?"  
  
"Yes sir?"  
  
"Summon the Head of the Rit Zein. Tell him I need to have a word with him."  
  
Stefan bowed courteously and left, leaving Michael stuck at the crossroads again.  
  
__ This never would have happened if you had never fallen.  
  
_This never would have happened if he had come for you in time._  
  
He paused, trying desperately to stop the last thought from crossing his mind, but failed.  
  
_This never would have happened if you hadn't given your consent to Lucifer._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case any of you want to know about the above mentioned Rit Zein- supernatural.wikia.com/wiki/Rit_Zien


	21. Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight Trigger Warnings

It had been weeks. 4 weeks to be precise. You sat at the edge of your bed, looking out of the window as you closed your eyes, bowing your head in prayer yet again.

"Michael?"

Silence. As usual.

You knew the news must have reached Heaven by now. And it all made sense now. The expression on that Angel's face when she had seen you in the parking lot. It had made sense because it was the exact same expression on Castiel's face when he had walked through the doors that night, only to find you on the floor, drenched and defeated.

"I don't know if you are listening Micha," you near-choked at the nickname you had used for him so long ago, "But I need you here. Please."

The usual silence prevailed.

You walked out into the hall, alone in the Bunker yet again as the boys were out on a hunt. You hadn't seen Lucifer for some time, not that you were complaining. The pain was bad enough without seeing him go all possessive on Damien.

You stopped.

_Not Damien. The Antichrist. The Abomination._

He was not your son. He was a proof and reminder of the Cage. Of the screams. Of the horror. Oh the agony. That is all he was.

You took a deep breath, steadying your nerve, before it crossed you mind. It was only for a fleeting second, but at that moment anything seemed good.

You were already the Fallen Angel. You were already the harlot for everyone in Heaven. You would not be the person to give birth to the Antichrist.

Decision made, fists clenched, you ran.

* * *

"And you are sure of this Ephraim?"

"Yes Archangel Michael. There is no other way. If you want, I can personally do it. It won't be painless, but I'll make it as easy I can on her. I owe a lot to the both of you."

"Thank you. But for now I need to make some decisions. I shall let you know as soon as possible."

They stood up, the Virtue bowing as he made his way to the door.

"Ephraim?"

"Yes Viceroy?"

"Try not to mention this conversation to Naomi."

He gave a curt nod and left, barely smiling to himself. The wheels were in motion, just as Naomi had said.

* * *

The room was daunting- black interiors with a dim lamp at one end. The door had been unlocked, and it had been easy getting in after that.

You stood in the doorway, eyeing the array of weaponry in the Men of Letters' arsenal. You could see guns, rifles, shotguns, knives, equipment you didn't even know the names of. But that wasn't what you were looking for.

You moved in, closing the door behind you with a soft thud. Your eyes were fixed to the shelf in one corner, with a single note on top.

_**Blades.** _

You ran your hand over the glass casings of the individual boxes.

Ruby's knife. The demon blade.

You stopped, spotting what you had been looking for.

_The Angel Blade._

Picking it gently up from the casing, you eyed it carefully. The metal was cold against your surprisingly steady hand. You positioned the blade appropriately, letting out a sigh. Your heart was beating out of your chest, but this had to be done.

For Heaven.

You stopped for the briefest second, only to look over your shoulder for no one in particular.

No one. As expected.

You blinked once as turned back.

"What do you think you are doing?"

The blade fell to the floor with a clatter.

His face was stone cold, eyes narrowed as he looked at the blade in your hand. before looking back up at you. The coldness in his expression was evident as you fell back a few steps, eyes still locked on his face.

"I thought I made it very clear to you," he moved towards you, voice so nonchalant anyone else could presume it to be indifference, but you knew better.

"I thought I made it crystal clear to you that ANYONE who lays a finger upon my son will not be spared."

The hand that had held the blade was twisted behind your back as you choked out a groan of pain, face pressed against the cold wall, Lucifer's grip tight behind your back. It was hurting- the angle at which your arm was bent and the cold seeping into the recently healed wrist.  
  
"You never listen do you?"  
  
His fist made contact with your jaw as your head hit the wall. The frigidness of the wall seeped through your cheek as he pressed you further against the wall, mouth near your ear.  
  
"You thought you'd get away with it? Kill yourself and my son? Oh no Angel, not so soon."  
  
Hands grabbed you by the hair as you saw him fling open the door, walking down the corridor as he dragged you along. Lucifer's jaw was clenched tight, free fist closed in a vice like grip as he made his way to the main hall.   
  
"Lucifer stop..."  
  
The plead went unanswered as he pulled you violently down the stairs before turning around, standing face to face with you. The slap that followed was harsh enough for you to fall down, gasping as you made impact with the floor. He was down on his knees next to you, turning you on your back as he practically straddled you, before twisting fingers in your hair and tugging forcefully. It was then that you screamed.  
  
"Don't go screaming on me just yet Angel. I told you so many times, so many damn times, that you. Should. Not. Disobey. Me."  
  
Each word was punctuated with a hit as you tasted blood in your mouth.   
  
"Where are the Winchesters now? Where is your precious little brother Castiel? Left you alone here, haven't they? You and me- Alone again. That does give me some pretty good ideas."  
  
You hadn't anticipated him to fall this low. The shout of horror was almost reflexive.He smirked, eyes narrowing as he looked at you like a predator eyeing his prey.  
  
"I can't hit you too much. Like it or not, I actually give a damn about OUR son. But that doesn't stop me from," he leaned down too close for comfort, as your eyes flipped close on their own accord, "other things."  
  
You opened your mouth to plead, but were silenced with a finger to your lips.   
  
"Save your energy (y/n). You're going to tell me to stop. But come on Angel," he traced his finger across the bruise blooming on your cheekbone, "when have I ever listened to you? But why should I- you haven't exactly reciprocated the same to me have you? I can break you again- right here, take you any way I want. I can have my way with you as and when I wish. And you know that damn well. But I won't. Not now."  
  
You let out the breath you had been holding back. A near-sigh of relief. The relief was short lasted, replaced with agony as you wailed, his grip on your chin bone crushing. You could hear the venom in his voice when he pressed you further back, eyes locked with yours.   
  
"If you ever-ever again even think of harming Damien, I swear upon Heaven and Hell, I will wreck you in ways you haven't even dreamt of. so help me God." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where are we going from here? *whistles*


	22. 'Dreams and Reality

It was bright. Almost too bright.

The light stung your eyes as you winced, before reluctantly opening them. The bright light shone through the windows as you sat up groggily. You brushed a stray strand of hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear as you looked down to see the plain white dress fit your body snugly. 

_Where were you?_

You looked around to see the room- A cozy, wooden walled, beautifully furnished room. It was domestic, comfortable. Almost too perfect. The windows overlooked a well kept garden, a vine of roses hanging down the ledge. It smelled of spring- light, fresh. You closed your eyes, waiting to wake up again.

Then you heard the crying. A child.

You stood up, feet making contact with the warm wooden floor as you walked towards the door, gently pushing it open. This room was more furnished almost minimally. A small mobile hung over a crib in one end the room, near the window. The mobile was plain- small shells dangling from threads, colored brightly, moving with the gentle breeze. You walked towards the crib, pulled towards it by some unknown force, your feet noiselessly moving on the floor. The crying continued as you quickened your pace, before you finally reached the crib and looked.

The cherub stopped and grinned a toothless smile at you, eyeing with his (e/c) eyes. A translucent pair of white wings were tucked behind his back, reaching out to you. You leaned down, running a hand through his sandy blond hair as he cooed with satisfaction.

"He's perfect isn't he?"

You should have panicked but for some reason you didn't. You turned around to look at Lucifer, affectionately smiling at the cherub in the crib. His face was just as you last remembered it in Heaven- before the fall, before the Garden of Eden, before everything. He walked silently towards you, wrapping his arms around you as you leaned back into the cold touch, his face nestling in the crook of your neck as you hummed in satisfaction.

"This is how it should have been my Angel."

* * *

You woke up, eyes fixed on the white ceiling of your room as you steadied your breath. It hadn't been a dream, it sure as hell wasn't a nightmare. What was it? You sat up, running a hand through your hair as you winced at the pain left from Lucifer's blows.

A vision.An alternate reality. What could have been.

"Are the Winchesters here?"

Your head snapped up fast enough for the pain to shoot through your back, but you didn't let it show. Michael stood at the window, his eyes staring out aimlessly as he spoke. You stood up from the bed, ignoring the pain in your ribs as you walked a few steps towards him, before stopping.

"No. They left for a hunt. Castiel is with them."

He nodded, not even turning behind to acknowledge you. In all honesty, you were happy he hadn't ripped out your guts by now. Silence ensued.

"Are you OK?"

His voice was strained- you could feel the effort it was taking him to keep his tone down and neutral. How could you reply to this question- Were you OK? You were anything but OK. He knew that. He also knew small talk wasn't his strong suit. You opened your mouth to reply, and closed it after thinking again. Maybe you should....

You recoiled, hand clutching your stomach as you tried to stifle the pain shooting through you as you sat down, knees hitting the floor. You looked up a second later, teeth clenched, only to meet Michael's eyes as he stared at you, terrified.

"What..."

You couldn't reply. How could you tell him what was wrong. You looked up, eyes meeting his for a second before falling back to the floor. How could you tell him the child he had probably come to kill had just kicked for the first time.

"Are you here for him?"

"I'm not here for _it,_ " he almost corrected you, "I have been trying to stop others from seeking you out. I don't know how long that'll last."

You looked up, seeing the desperation in your eyes echoed in his.He trailed his thumb along your cheek as he pressed his forehead to yours, muttering words of comfort to you in Enochian. It felt nice. It felt like home. Michael didn't hate you. It was all......almost fine.

"Thank you," you managed to choke out, "for understanding."

He said nothing, drawing as much comfort from the moment as you were.

"We can't judge him guilty Michael. You know that."  
   
You didn't get time to react, before he practically pushed you away, before standing up- pulling you up to your feet with him. The tenderness and fear was gone, replaced with something you couldn't quite recognize.

"No," he practically growled, " That abomination is anything but innocent. I expect you to UNDERSTAND that!"

"HE didn't ask for this,"your voice was almost breaking as you quipped back, "Out of all of us, Damien is the only innocent party in this Michael."

"And what about me?"

You remembered this tone- It was the same tone with which he had fallen at Father's feet, begging him to forgive Lucifer.

"I don't remember asking for this. I didn't want to be saved. I had made my peace with my fate when Lucifer had taken me that day. I had made peace with it back in Heaven when I saw how madly you and Lucifer were in love with each other. I never asked for this. It was Lucifer's manipulation that did this. It was your consent that did this."

"Mika....."

"Do not think I have any sympathy for the Antichrist," his voice emotionless, the voice of the soldier Father had created, "I am not stopping the Hosts from coming because I think it is innocent. I am doing this for you. I am doing this because I love you. And if killing him hadn't meant loosing you..."

His voice was dangerously low as he spoke.

"I would have ripped him out from you with my own hands."


	23. And So It Begins

"I presume we were called here for a reason Michael?"

The Viceroy looked drained, but his eyes didn't- His expression one of deep concentration.

"I have made my decision. The abomination cannot and will not be spared. Heaven's laws do not permit it and neither does our conscience. The moment he is born, Ephraim will bring him to Heaven and he will be killed."

Naomi opened her mouth to oppose but Michael silenced her with a gesture. The Hall fell dead silent.

"She isn't strong enough to survive the childbirth, but she might just pull through. She has always been a fighter. And we owe her this- all of us."

He paused a second before deliberating his next move.

"(f/n) (l/n) was the whistle-blower for Lucifer's sin."

The collective gasp and expressions of shock on the face of everyone seated there was evident, all of them looking at Michael, short of words. None of them had known this.

"And that'll be all."

* * *

You walked through the deserted stretch of the road, your jacket not enough to block the chill as you shivered. You had left them bunker almost immediately, walking God knows where. Dusk had faded into night as you walked on.

Something moved behind you.

You turned, fast, only to spot the empty stretch of the road. Nothing- just your imagination. A deep breath and you continued. The light from the street lamp fell across your face as you sneaked a hand across your belly, all too gently, and you were met by a gentle kick.

You had met a couple of women by the park, smiling gently at the slight bump of your belly when you had stroked a hand over it.

"Congratulations Love," the older of the two had smiled gently, "A boy or a girl?"

You had barely managed to stammer the reply before you left, taking a hurried leave, just to hear their musings if you were a single mother or not.

You sighed, lost in though, stepping into the near darkness of the road tunnel.

"Going somewhere, love?"

The cold grey eyes stared at you through the long black hair as you froze.  
 __  
Azrael.  
  
You had seen the disappointment in his eyes when Bartholomew had told him not to kill you. He wasn't done with you that day.

Your mind flipped gears, and before you knew it yourself, you pushed him aside, breaking into a run as you fled down the deserted road. You could hear footsteps behind you, caching up fast. You stood no chance- he was an Angel, you were barely Human.

It just spurred you on, the desperation. The fear. A reminder of your fist day in the Cage as you had run from Lucifer. You turned back, looking over to see if he was still there.

Mistake.

The hands pulled the thin fabric as you fell face down into the gravel, the groan leaving your face as you tasted dirt. Another strong motion and you were on your back, his arm holding you down by the neck.

"The bounty on your head right now, slut? Too damn high. And with that monster inside you, you were just too tempting to let go off."

You struggles against the grip but in vain.

"I can see why they are so fascinated by you- Michael and Lucifer. You are a thing of beauty. Tempting enough to lure the Master of Temptation? I'm impressed."

Your hand wrapped around the rock lying by your side as you picked it up and smashed it against his skull, drawing nothing but a faint trickle and a moan of pain from him, but that was all you needed.

You scrambled to your feet, knees scrapping against the asphalt as you picked yourself up to run.

A couple of steps and the hands found their way back, tugging you back by the hair as they turned you around. You saw his face- grey eyes cold, hair disheveled as he spread out 4 gigantic black wings behind his back, blocking the light behind him. Hands in your hair, facing you, he walked forward, as you fell back, watching the gleam of malice in his eyes.

"Do you know who I am?"

The grip tightened almost painfully as you analysed the meaning of his name. It was familiar, so familiar.....

"I am Azrael."

_Azrael- Enochian for The Angel Of Death._

A grip on your throat as you fell back, Azrael smirking.

"Oh she is going to be so happy with me for this."

You tasted the blood in your mouth as you fell down with a scream, the impact of his knee in your middle as you doubled over, groaning. The panic was immediate, the pain not fading away as you desperately shielded your belly from any further impact.

A gleam of the light against a blade and you looked up, a sword to your throat as he looked down at you.

"For Heaven."

The scream died in your throat as you felt the blood on your face and down your body. You looked up, horrified, only to see a blade sticking through his neck. 

A kick to the side and his lifeless body fell down, the brightness from his dying grace forcing you to close your eyes till it faded. You wiped the blood from your face, opening your eyes only to meet equally scared blue orbs in return. His hands were on yours, over your belly as he struggled to speak.

"Are you..Is..Is he OK?" 

Lucifer's voice had an edge of outright panic to it as he looked at you. Your mind had stopped working. Lucifer was nothing but a hallucination. He couldn't manipulate anything but you. He couldn't have killed someone. Yet you could see Azrael's wings burnt into the ground as the blood seeped from his wound, the archangel blade still jutting out from his Adam's apple.

"How..."

"IS HE OK?"

As though in response, a soft kick earned a low hiss of pain from you, and you saw his expression shift from one of horror to that of awe.

"You're OK. It's OK. It's OK."

And in that moment, you couldn't tell who he was talking to- You, Damien, or himself.

* * *

The door was flung open and was shut just as quickly, as Michael looked up from his deliberations with Stefan, only to see a panicked Mary stare at him, aghast.

"Give us the room Stefan."

"Something changed Michael. I don't know what. I could see him clear as day in the future- I could see the Antichrist. I could see the havoc. I could see Lucifer. I could see everything. Now I see nothing."

"Nothing?"

"No one. Not her. Not the child. Not Lucifer. I can't see anyone. I can't see what Heaven looks like, or where you are, or where I am. Something happened Michael, and it is changing the future."

Michael heard her words with panic rising in his mind. Mary had been the most powerful seer in Heaven. And this mad no sense. No sense at all....

The door opened, and he saw Naomi stand in the doorway. Her eyes were bloodshot, her voice broken as she shook, fists clenched.

"They killed Azrael. They killed my brother."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...What do you think? Where do we go from here?


	24. Home?

Mary turned to look at Michael, the color draining from his face as he realized what Naomi meant.

"This has to be a mistake. Lucifer is in the Cage."

"Azrael was stabbed in the throat with an Archangel Blade," Naomi spoke through tears as she walked forward and threw a blade on the floor with a _clink_. Michael picked it up gingerly, surveying it. There was no doubt in it, it was Lucifer's.

"How?"

Mary bit her lip, thinking something before speaking up.

"We always say that Lucifer can only manifest on the Earth through a physical link. I had been thinking of this for some time now. What if the child is the link?" 

"I had though that,"Michael mused,"But then why didn't he do it before?"

Naomi was the one to reply to him, barely managing to speak, "Because the closer his arrival on Earth is, the stronger Lucifer is. Do you still not see it? The Antichrist is not only Lucifer's prophesied aid in the apocalypse- He is also his key out of Hell. The closer we come to his birth, Lucifer is able to exert his influence more and more on Earth. That's his key out of the Cage. His own son."

And they knew it. This was it. The moment had come. 

Mary put a comforting hand on Michael's shoulder as he closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. It was no longer about him and you. It was now a matter of Heaven, Earth and Hell.

"Naomi," Michael spoke, his words dripping with reluctance, "Take the Rit Zein with you and..."

He paused just a moment before finishing, "...Bring her to Heaven."

* * *

It had been days since the attack by Azrael, and you had so many questions in mind. How had Lucifer managed to kill him? You had a formulation brewing in your head, but you did not wish to pay heed to it.

It was raining, again. A storm was brewing in the North, you could see it in the distance. They were becoming increasingly common now. You wondered if it had something to do with Damien.

The dreams, or visions, had continued every night since. You had seen him every day since- With Lucifer's hair and features, with eyes unmistakably the same as yours, with pristine white wings tucked behind his back. He was growing older in every next vision. There was something very unsettling about his smile- The all knowing smile, hiding secrets you knew nothing of.

You could hear voices below, but you continued to think about last week. The voices suddenly grew louder, heading up the stairs, and it took you a second to realize they weren't friendly at all.

"You can't do this..."

Castiel. Panicked.

"Oh Brother, but we can."

The door slammed against the wall as it opened, and you reflexively cowered, falling back a few steps as you eyes the group standing in the doorway. Naomi's cold eyes met yours. Behind her you saw Ephraim, sword in hand, and the Rit Zein. You froze, feeling your heart sink. They had come for you. Castiel's panicked face appeared in the doorway as he talked to Ephraim in hushed voices, before Naomi took a couple of steps forward.

"Seraphim (y/n), Under the order of the Viceroy of the Heavenly Hosts and in accordance with the rules laid down by Father- I , Naomi, The Commander of the Rit Zein in the events of the death of Seraphim Azrael- have been charged with the responsibility to bring you before the Hosts and the Viceroy, to ensure the safety of all realms from the threat the Antichrist poses. Seraph Castiel is appointed as the Witness for the same."

Your eyes met Castiel's as his protests were drowned out by the buzzing in your ears. You could see Naomi smiling as she strode over to you, gripping your arm tightly.

"Take Her."

* * *

You could feel the bruises bloom under the harsh grips of the angels on either side of you. The journey had been a fleeting memory- All you remembered was the pain and the noise in your head.

The nostalgia hit you hard as you stood in front of the gates. They were so different from human expectations- No big white gates with Pearl and ribbons, yet it was beautiful. The bronze gate with the vines of flowers hanging down each rod. They weren't fresh, weathered by millennials of battle and rebellions. 

Ephraim pushed it open, and you couldn't help but hold your breath. You hadn't been home in such a long time.

You hadn't expected anyone. You sure as Hell hadn't expected a crowd. It was the worst form of deja vu- You had remembered walking through a similar crowd, standing in Castiel's place, as Raphael had led Lucifer to the edge of Heaven.

You could see thousands of pairs of eyes on you- Looking down at you judging you, mocking you. You bowed your head as the same gut wrenching shame took over you as all of you walked in silence. You knew what was to come. You knew it all too well.

A foot in your way.

You tripped and landed on your face, as you looked up to see the disapproving face of an angel you did not recognize. You stood up, Ephraim helping you.

"Harlot."

You closed your eyes as you regained balance, trying to shut your ears to the shouts from the now angry crowd.

It was called the Walk of Shame for a reason.

"You betrayed Heaven for pleasure. I spit on you."  
"I used to look up to you as a child!"  
"You should rot in hell with your lover."  
"I am ashamed of knowing you."

You were biting your lower lip hard enough to draw blood, anything to stop the tears from spilling. Naomi could have taken you straight to the Hall of the Hosts. But she didn't.

"Kill her. Kill her and her damned abomination. Kill her."

The crowd seemed to have found their new chant. Collective shouts demanding the same rose in the air as you felt someone's nails on your back. Naomi and Ephraim exchanged a worried glance- it was getting out of control.

You were vaguely aware of a blow against the back of your head as you tumbled forward, barely stopping before you fell. You could feel people grab your arms, demanding answers.

_Why? How could you? What all did you do?_

The shouts were almost deafening as you saw Ephraim move ahead to get angels out of the way as Alastair and Stefan took you by the arms. You looked up into Stefan's sad golden eyes.

"I am so sorry sister. I'm so sorry."

Naomi pushed open the gold and black gate in front of you, ushering all of you into the hallway as she shut the doors behind her, drowning out all the noise.

The corridor to Hall of the Hosts was as intimidating as ever- towered by gigantic statues on either side as torches lit up the way. It was deserted, sans a figure in front of you.

Naomi stepped forward, bowing slightly.

"Michael"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sidenote for this chap: REMEMBER that time between heaven and Earth works like that between Earth and the Cage. A short time in Heaven will be months/years on Earth


	25. Subversion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blood. Violence. Gore. Angst. And my apologies.  
> I blame the Game of Thrones and the Red Wedding for this.

"Solace."

Stephan and Alastair dropped your arms and moved towards the door as Castiel walked with the rest, head bowed. Naomi shot the two of you a glare before she moved to join them.

It had been so long since you had seen him like this-Not as your mate and friend but as the Viceroy of the Heavenly Hosts, all 4 pairs of golden wings tucked behind his back, the armor of the Hosts on his chest, the sword which had brought death to the legions in his hand.

A gentle hand cupped your cheek and you saw the turmoil in his eyes. His face was stoic, it had to be, but you could feel the emotions suppressed in behind the mask of bravery.

"It's OK Mika," you whispered as you ran a thumb gently along his cheekbone, not missing the way he let out a broken sigh and leaned into the touch. He was trying so hard, enough to break your heart to see him like this.

"I was supposed to protect you."

You shushed him. He couldn't do this right now. His voice was on the verge of breaking as he leaned down, forehead touching yours.

"We'll run away- Just you and me. No one will find us."

"Michael...They'll kill us before we reach the gates."

"I can't watch you die!"

He choked out the words as you cupped his face. He paused, before pressing his lips to yours for the first and the last time after your fall. It was the last straw of familiarity and feeling of the home that you had left, and you grasped it with all you had. You reciprocated, gently.

"You have always been a fighter," he mumbled against your lips, "Just this one last time. You have to. Please."

He broke the kiss, looking down at you with tear filled eyes, before turning on his heels and walking away.

* * *

It had been so long since you had been in the Hall of the Hosts- chairs on either side of the aisle and three seats on its end. Michael stood at the end, flanked by Mary and Stefan and guarded by Johnathan and Alastair, watching as two of the Rit Zein led you toward the middle of the aisle before backing off. You had been here before, flanking Michael's side instead of Mary whenever the sentences had to handed out. You remembered all the pleads you had heard, you had remembered the fear in Gadreel's eyes when he was sentences to imprisonment, you remembered Naomi's scream when she had become the first Angel to bear a nephilium.

You turned to look at her, fire in her eyes, and you realized what this meant to her- _Justice_.

You tore your eyes away from her gaze only to look at Michael, who had started speaking. You had never heard a voice so dead.

"I, Archangel Michael, under the powers bestowed to me as the Viceroy...."

You didn't even hear him, your eyes in a deadlock with his. You were only vaguely aware of when Naomi moved to your front, the ghost of a smile on her lips. The angels behind you backed off, led Castiel to the side so that he could have a clear view, and left you alone in the middle of the hall.

You felt Naomi's hands on your belly as she closed her eyes, muttering Enochian. Nothing. She turned to Michael, waiting for the signal. He said nothing, but Mary gave her a single nod.

You didn't even get time to scream. You could feel her hand trying to find its way inside, too similar to the way Lucifer had tried to touch your grace. You tasted blood in your mouth, coughing it out as your knees gave out. The two of you sunk to your knees, and you saw Michael turn around to leave, before Mary kept a hand on his arm. A silent no- He couldn't leave. He had to see. He and Castiel were witnesses.

Another push of the hand, and this time she was successful. Your screams were muffled by the blood in your mouth, choking you as it stained Naomi's the back of Naomi's shirt. The pain was too bad- enough for you to miss the way all the other members of the Hosts had turned away, enough to miss the expression on Castiel's face as he was forced to look on, helpless.

With a cry of victory, Naomi found what she was looking for. Your eyes rolled back into your head as your mouth fell open. You could hear her speak words you did not understand. The scream finally made its way past your throat. The glow in her brown eyes, the sensation of something dying, the pain. A twist of her hand and a flash of light.

It was over.

Your head limply fell against her shoulder as she retracted her hand. Michael made his way down the stairs before pausing, and the Hosts stood up. Castiel closed his eyes, the silent sob leaving his lips with resignation. Naomi sat straight, pulling your face up, cupped between her hands- _Waiting_.

Michael felt his heart sink. Your eyes were shut, mouth parted and blood stained. You were still. A minute passed in silence.

Then he saw the flutter of eyelashes.

You meekly coughed out the blood in your mouth as you barely opened your eyes, and Michael let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding. You had made it. It was all that mattered. His eyes were fixed on your face as you took in a breath and opened your eyes. It was OK. It was all going to be OK.

He did not miss the painful sigh of relief Castiel let out, still shaking. He, however, did miss half of the Hosts run a gentle hand along their swords.

Naomi turned to Michael, a sad smile on her lips, and he caught the light against the metal. She turned towards you, pulling your face up with one hand, before she raised the blade in the other.

"For Heaven."

It was done in an instant- the slash of metal against your throat. Michael's shout of horror sounded distant as you felt yourself fall. The buzzing in your ears was growing slowly, drowning out voices. You could heard someone running, somewhere. Not that it made sense. Your eyes were fixed on the ornate high ceiling of the Hall, and it was beginning to blur.

Mary and Stefan's eyes widened with horror as they stood up to follow Michael, only to be stopped by Johnathan and Alastair, who had their swords pressing against their necks.

"Duty before Love, sister," Alastair sneered at her.

Castiel's hand grabbed his angel blade as one of the Hosts backed him against the wall, hand on his sword. The scenes were similar across the hall, with more than half of the Hosts up in arms against he rest. Michael was on the floor, crouching next to you, as Naomi watched the scene with amusement. Mary turned to Alastair, horrified.

Naomi turned to Stefan and Mary, their eyes fixated on the scene in front of them as they saw the few Angels fighting on Michael's behalf get slaughtered.

"It's a funny thing sister," Naomi spoke to Mary, " How Michael's priorities changed. He led the rebellion against Lucifer's sin. Someone had to do the same for him."

Grabbing their swords had been the biggest and last mistake Stefan and Mary ever made.

* * *

You saw _him_ , his eyes soft, the same smile on his face. Lucifer stood over you, a satisfied smile on your face. He said nothing, he just stood there, smiling as he watched you bleed out.

Hands caught you before your head hit the floor, Michael's face blocking your view of the ceiling. Lucifer was gone.

"No no no...Stay with me. (y/n). NO!"

His hands cupped your bloody face as you gasped for breath, but only in vain. You could see the desperation and horror in his eyes evident. You were falling, slowly, you could feel it. Your hands clutched at air as you heard screams and death around you. The buzzing was deafening. You could feel your grace seep away.

"No....."

You turned your face towards Michael, the tears in his eyes as he cradled you in his arms. The last thing you saw was Naomi raise a sword high behind his back, before bringing it down in one swift blow.

Everything turned black.

Something warm on your face. Blood. The _clink_ of armor as his body fell.

Together in life. Together in death. You smiled at the irony. 

And then there was silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story IS NOT over yet. Makes no sense but it isn't.  
> With that done, let the shouting commence.


	26. The Fine Line

You opened your eyes with great effort. It all felt surreal. There was no pain. There was nothing.

It all slowly came into focus. Michael's bloodied face inches from yours as the lifeless grey eyes stared at you. The face you were so used to seeing in all its glory, the smile whenever he saw you, all gone. The mouth which had kissed all worries away stained with blood.His mouth was just open, frozen in the shape of his panicked shouts of your name. His archangel sword stuck out of his back at an awkward angle. You turned to your side to see the imprint of his wings burnt into the floor and on your body.

You looked beyond it, Stefan and Mary lying on the stairs leading up to the throne, lifeless, bodies mutilated. The stench of death was thick in the air as you took in a deep breath, tasting the blood again. You looked down at your own self, the blood on your clothes still fresh. You could see the graces mingled with it- Your white ones with Michael's flaming golden one. You looked to your side again, and realized it this time around- The 6 pairs of wings burnt on the floor included 4 from Michael and 2 from you.

There was a buzzing noise. Deafening. It was suddenly growing brighter. You could hear voices. The light grew stronger, as did the noise. And then it hit its pinnacle.

* * *

"Sister? Sister?"

Someone was shaking you, as you heard the excitement and edge of concern in the voice. You took a deep breath in and opened your eyes. And then you froze.

You propped yourself up on your elbows as you looked around in disbelief. A young Naomi looked at you, the soft curls of light brown hair slightly covering her face as she eyes with her brown orbs. You had seen her like this. But this.... This didn't make any sense. You looked around, only to see the all too familiar surroundings of Mary's heaven. You turned to your side to see her walk towards you, asking Naomi if you were OK. You looked down at yourself-the white dress spotless, the skin unhurt.

"What happened?"

Mary took a seat besides you, hand on yours as she spoke.

"You were in Eden sister. Someone broke into it and led Eve and Adam to the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Father is outraged. They found you there, unconscious. You have't woken since. We were worried the sinner may have hurt you."

"The sinner?"

"The Seraphim Gadreel has been taken in for now," Mary spoke thoughtfully,"Father suspects it might be him."

Your eyes widened with horror as you choked out the final question you had, "Who found me?"

Naomi quipped in, giving you a sly smile, "Archangel Lucifer of course. He hasn't left your side ever since. I have never seen anyone so concerned before."

Mary turned and gave you a smile too, "He was worried Sister. He really cares about you."

Your head was spinning so fast you felt you'd pass out again. This was the Heaven you remembered before the fall. Everything was perfectly normal. Too normal. You needed to tell them. You needed them to know. You opened your mouth to speak before the three of you were interrupted.

"If the two of you were done now, might I have a word with her."

You turned to look behind you. Lucifer looked at you, looking just as you remembered him. The tuft of dirty blond hair, the 3 pairs of snow white wings behind his back, the light in his blue eyes. Your eyes met and he smiled, and in that moment you just knew. You knew that he knew too.

Mary and Naomi exchanged glances and smiles as Lucifer walked up to you and extended his hand to you.

"Walk with me?"

* * *

The brook ran over the rocks and along the small winding path as you felt the cool dew of the grass against your feet. Lucifer's heaven had always been cooler than the rest, which somehow made perfect sense. The two of you walked in silence till you were absolutely sure you were alone. And then you turned to him.

"What sort of sick game is this?"

He turned to you, hands behind his back as he leaned against the tree, smiling. There was a softness in his expression you hadn't seen in centuries. A lot less malice in his gaze.

"You still don't see it Angel?"

You winced at the name, as you were so used to doing now. You hated that condescending smile on that face which was yet to be ruined by horrors of the Cage. He walked towards you, and you stood rooted to the spot. You were face to face with him as you he looked down at you as he gently placed a hand on your belly.

You were waiting for all of it to end. You were waiting for you to wake up in your bed, screaming as Damien would probably kick again. You were waiting for it all to be false and for the dream to end.

It didn't.

"You thought you were the only seer in Heaven didn't you," he cooed as you looked up at him, "Thought you were the only one who could see what was yet to happen? Spoiler alert mea Angelus- You are not alone. Do you know how long you were out? Knocked out cold by the sinner?"

He cocked his head, waiting for your reply as you shook your head in a no.

"A month. Do you know how long that is on Earth?"

You were staring at him, not knowing where this was going at all.

"Long enough to show you everything Angel. Everything."

A thumb trailed over your cheek as you saw it again- The hall, the blood, Michael's dead eyes, Castiel struggling to breath as he slumped against a pillar, screaming out your name as he looked in your direction.

The hand left your cheek and it was all gone. A gentle hand on your arm as he urged you forward. Your mind was blank as you barely managed any coherent thoughts.

"Father always says that a person has to come across a point in their life when they must be faced with the point where they have to make a choice. It isn't the easiest thing to do. In fact it is one of the most difficult." 

His voice was casual enough to make it seem like you were discussing the weather. He looked up towards the sky as he spoke, smiling softly when you felt a snowflake land on your face. He had always burned cold- All of you had just failed to see it.

"Father also said that a person faced with the dilemma of making a difficult choice must be well informed of the outcome of either of his options. Do you remember Angel?"

You did. But you didn't reply. He turned to you, eyes cold but a smile on his lips. Any other day and you would have been pressed against the tree for your insolence. Not today.

"You were presented with what I believe to be the biggest dilemma one could ever be put in. And you made your decision of telling Father without knowing of the repercussions of the same. Tell me mea Angelus, when you walked into the great Halls of Heaven and fell down on your knees to tell Father about my sin, did you ever know how it was going to end for you?"

You shook your head in a no.

"Now you do."

The silence around the two of you was ominous as you looked at him. You looked at him and saw all pieces fall into their places.

"None of this was a game. None of this was a lie. It was.... a vision. I wanted you to know. Know what you will do to yourself. To Heaven. To Michael. To me."

You were silent, looking at him walk towards you as you took in every word. It didn't matter. You had to do the right thing.

"Still thinking of being the martyr Angel? Still thinking of suffering through all that pain and humiliation again just to give Heaven the ending it wants?"

You opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off, "My brother will come any minute to call you in Father's presence. To call you to give your confession of what you saw. And you won't see the Viceroy who trains you as the person who comes to call you. You will see him as the angel who is so in love with you it will take everything away from him. You will see in him the warrior you killed. You will remember those dead eyes with the grace gone from them. The prince of Heaven who will die for you."

"I will not let this happen," you spoke for the first time, "I will not let anyone die at my behest and I will NOT let you walk free after what you did. Even if it calls for my death"

"And you think that your fate is in your hands? Did I not explain it well enough to you back then," he walked towards you slowly as you saw a glint of frustration in his eyes, "No matter what you do, no matter what choices you make now, you will always end up there. If you tell Father now, no matter what you try to do after that we will still end up with Michael strapped to that chair. We will still end up at that time when I could have killed him with my blade in one second. And my Angel, no matter what you do, you will still fall with me. And I hope I don't need to remind you what happens then. Free will is an illusion my love. Remember that." 

"What are you asking of me?"

Lucifer smiled, the smile you had fallen for looking almost alien to you, the way his blue eyes lit up with joy as he saw the first crack in your armor. You closed your eyes when the barely cold hands cupped your face, his own in front of you as he spoke.

"Tell Father it was Gadreel. Tell Father you saw him with your own eyes. Tell them that he is the Serpent. That is all you need to do my Angel. No body dies. It all ends up as it was suppose to. And then, we can be together. Just as we were always meant to be."

You felt a tear slide down your face as you remembered your brother. You closed your eyes and you saw Naomi's smiling face as opposed to the stone cold face she had when she slit your throat. You remembered Mary's loving smile and you remembered her body lying on the ground, eyes gouged out. You saw the Heaven around you in all its glory, and you remembered the Hell it would turn to after the Slaughter of the Hosts.

You missed the silent footsteps in the distance as the snow fell on the two of you, Lucifer looking at you with reverence as he waited. 

"Yes."

A single syllable and Lucifer leaned in, pressing his lips to yours as you felt your guard collapse, the tears finally breaking through as he deepened the kiss, the silence of the surroundings making the moment more overwhelming as the snowflakes fell silently.

You missed Michael, standing just a few feet away as he watched the two of you, trying to hide the dejection in his eyes and voice as he opened his mouth to speak, mind numb.

"(y/n).."

You immediately broke apart as you turned, the guilt piercing through your being as you saw him- decked in the armor of Heaven just as he had been on his last day. His eyes were as emotionless as you remembered, with a hint of something you couldn't recognize. You stepped away from Lucifer, head bowed as you waited for him to continue.

"Father wants to talk to you about what you witnessed in the Garden of Eden."

This was it. You knew it. You had to make your choice now. You looked back up at him, the flaming sword in his hand which would one day be buried in his back. Lucifer extended a hand to you as he watched you, waiting for you.

"Shall we?"

And you made your decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions? Screams? Anything? Fire ahead!


	27. Crossroads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I have been MIA for some time. I have my entrances to thank for that. So...Here it is!

The great bronze doors opened and you turned back to meet Lucifer's eye. The Morningstar was decked in white, his icy blue eyes blazing as he looked at you. He was flanked by Jonathan and Alastair, the knights decked in the traditional silver armor.

"Father will see you know Sister," Alastair spoke, gently. Jonathan opened the door as he made way for you. Lucifer looked up, giving you a sliver of a smile as you took his arm.

The hall had been cleared for the proceedings of court. Angels from all ranks stood at the sides, watching anxiously. At the opposite end of the Hall, the Hosts flanked Father's throne, visors drawn and swords in hand. The Viceroy stood next to Father, his flaming sword illuminating the hall. Gadreel stood near the base of the staircase, chained, held by the guards of the Heavenly prisons. You saw everyone turn to you as you stepped in.

Your steps resounded in the Hell as you made your way forward, head bowed. It was the longest walk of your life. You could see Gadreel's tear filled eyes plead silently. You could see the confusion in the eyes of the angels. You could see Michael's gaze burning where you held Lucifer's arm.

"Father.."

You fell to your knees, bowing, head bowed reverently.

"Stand,my child."

You stood up, falling back as you stood opposite to Gadreel. You were the witness- The Chief and the only one.

"Were you in the Garden of Eden the day of the crime?"

"Yes Father."

"Why?"

"I was on my way to meet Seraphim Gadreel when I saw that the Gate of the Garden has been broken into. The staff, its key, was missing as well."

Your answer had been only half the truth. Gadreel turned to you mouth gaping.

"Tell them what you saw at the gates sister. Tell them what condition you found me in. Tell them how injured I was (y/n). TELL THEM."

His voice cracked as he looked at you, eyes wide and tear filled. You could feel the glare of a thousand pairs of eyes on you. You could feel Michael looking at you. You could also see Lucifer's sidelong glance at you.

"Is what the Seraphim says true, child?"

The words got stuck in your throat. You wanted to scream out a yes. You wanted to shout that it had been Lucifer who had done it. Lucifer was the serpent. Gadreel was innocent. Your brother. Your blood and Grace. You didn't even realize you were trembling. You couldn't sentence him to the fate Lucifer had been given. He was your family. He was the only thing you had left. You couldn't betray him.

"Father it wasn't.....""

"(y/n) you're trembling...."

You felt the cold embrace as Lucifer gently kept a hand across your shoulders. Then it all turned black.

* * *

It burnt. The ropes were tight enough for you to feel blood against your skin. Lucifer gently stroked your hair as you lay with your head in his lap. There was pain. The air around you burned. The floor was frozen enough to leave your skin frostbitten.

"I gave you a choice Angel. I gave you a choice."

A knife cut through the layer of skin on your face as you screamed. His face stayed calm. Pensive almost. The blood trickled down your skin.

"You wanted to do the right thing?"

The pain kept on growing. Grew every time you thought it couldn't get any worse.

"Whose orders do you think Naomi was working on? She did all of this for me."

The Hall of heaven burnt, the flames leaping up to touch the ceiling. The bodies around you burnt. The smell of charred flesh in the air.

"Everybody dies. Everyone except you. I need you to see. See the consequences of your choices. I rule Heaven. I rule Earth. I rule Hell. And I will make you watch."

The knife cut deeper, and you screamed yet again. The pain wasn't as superficial. It cut through every fiber in your body. It burnt your bones till they were charred. You were tired. You were so tired.

"Can't you feel it? Our son is coming, Angel. My heir."

You looked down as Lucifer guided your gaze. You could feel the pain. You could feel nails rake at your insides. You could feel the blood spread on the ground beneath you. You could feel it slick on your thighs. Your voice was so hoarse it was almost alien to you.

"Make it stop. Please..."

"This is on you. This is all on you. My Angel, My love," he guided your head up to look at the blackened ceiling, "You did this."

Gadreel's glassy blue eyes were the only thing you recognized about the skinless corpse as the final surge of pain tore through you. The cry of agony left your lips as your back arched off the ground. It all fell black again, as the distant sound of a child crying echoed in the silent hall.

* * *

They were all staring at you. All eyes were fixed on you as looked around.

"Are you OK?"

You saw Michael standing in front of you, concern in his gaze as he stretched out his hand. The floor felt cold. Lucifer's arm around you felt colder.

"My brother asked you something Angel," Lucifer whispered, low enough for only your ears. You nodded absent mindedly. Lucifer ignored his brother, helping you up as you stared at him. Others would have thought the gaze held adoration. Only you and the Morningstar could see the Stark terror in it.

"Father, forgive her. I have already presented my recollection of the events. Of what the serpent did to her. If I had not come to the Garden in time, he would've done things more unholy than just knock her out and attempt to violate her."

"SHE IS MY SISTER. I WOULD NEVER...."

"You saw her reaction Father," Lucifer spoke, calm as the silence before a storm, "If that doesn't prove anything, what would you say about this brother?"

Lucifer whipped you around so fast you nearly lost your footing, before opening your cloak near your neck and letting it fall. 

The collective gasp from the Angels made Michael look away. You saw the mirror behind you, showing the bruises and cuts all on your arm and down your neck. A singular hand print was burned into the flesh of your back.

"This is what he did to her."

You closed your eyes as the tears trailed down your face. You could remember how you got each and everyone of these scars in the Cage. The murmurs in the hall grew louder till they were almost deafening. You turned back, pulled up your cloak around yourself and looked at Gadreel.

_Those eyes._

"Silence."

The hall fell quite at Father's command as all eyes turned back to the two of you.

"Step forward child."

You walked, not turning to look at Michael or Lucifer, who had both taken a step forward before Father had told them to stop. Gadreel was told to do the same. The two of you walked till you met in the middle of the hall, standing face to face. His hand pressed to the gash on his leg but his eyes were fixed on your face, a silent plea for the truth in them.

_Gadreel is innocent. Lucifer did this._

"Seraphim (y/n), did you see the traitor who corrupted mankind?"

_Gadreel is innocent. Lucifer did this._

__"Yes Father."

"Do you know him?"

"Yes Father."

_Gadreel is innocent. Lucifer did this._

__"Then tell us his name child."

_Gadreel is innocent. Lucifer did this._ _Gadreel is innocent. Lucifer did this._ _Gadreel is innocent. Lucifer did this._

__"Gadreel..."

For reasons you'd never know, the rest of the words never left your mouth. The murmur slowly grew till every angel in the Great Hall was shouting in anger. You could hear the deafening roar, you could hear Father shouting for silence, but all you could see was Gadreel in front of you- mouth open as he stared at you, terrified.

You started to turn around to head back- you needed to hide the guilt and tears in your eyes. For a brief second, your eyes met Lucifer's- the relief in them evident as you saw him unclench his fist and let out a sigh. The moment was short lived. A hand grabbed you roughly by the shoulder and turned you around as you stood face to face with your brother.

"I thought you'd tell them the truth and you lied," his voice was broken as his vice like grip on each shoulder began to hurt, "I raised you. What have you done! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE."

You could see Johnathan and Alastair running towards him as Michael shouted something out from behind you. The tears finally broke past your defense. You had to make him understand. But you couldn't.

"You don't understand brother. I had to...."

The knights pulled him back into the shackles as his eyes never left your face. Behind you, Lucifer stepped forward till he was standing by your side. When his arm wrapped around you waist, it was gentle for the first time and this one time, it didn't burn cold. When he spoke, his voice was nearly inaudible, meant for just you as he whispered in your ear.

"Thank you."

You watched them lead Gadreel away, all the eyes following him, the _clink_ of the shackles echoing in the Hall. They made their way to the door, and as Johnathan opened the door, Gadreel turned back, eyes fixed on where you and Lucifer stood. His face bore a broken smile and when he spoke, his voice soft but questioning as his eyes darted between the two of you.

"What did he do to you, sister?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um..Thoughts?


	28. Silk and Blood

The hands through your hair were gentle as the young Virtues braided your hair, giggling as they did so. They spoke to you as they did so, trying to elicit a response from you. They got none. You stared at the mirror in front of you, staring at the stranger looking back. She looked beautiful, the black gown contrasting the skin. One of the young angels walked behind you, putting a midnight blue rose gently in your hair.

"This is the rarest flower in Heaven, sister. Archangel Lucifer had it brought specially for you."

She gave you a kind smile as some of the other angels laughed bashfully. You're face remained passive. They were banishing Gadreel from Heaven today. You had refused to come watch- You couldn't.

The door behind you opened as all of you turned around, eyes fixated as you stood up. You had been expecting news of the Fall. This was it. Lucifer walked in, dressed in black. The Morningstar was a thing of beauty- His blonde hair just slightly ruffles as his skin contrasted the darkness of his robes. He looked oddly melancholy as he walked a few steps more and halted. The angels fell back as he looked at you.

"Seraphim Gadreel didn't make it."

Lucifer watched you, eyes widening as you quickly looked down. Your grip on the table behind you was hard enough to hurt. Lucifer gestured to the angels behind you as they scurried out of the room, closing the door as they left. Lucifer walked forward.

"Angel..."

You turned away, head bowed. You could see Lucifer look at you, your eyes meeting as you looked into the mirror. The room seemed to be closing in on you.

"I suppose Congratulations are in order, Lucifer. You won."

The words made it all the more real- Lucifer had won, if not fairly. You had supported his accusations and the only other witness of the sin in the Garden was now dead. Not a single living soul knew of what had happened except you now.

"This was not a game I wanted to play."

"But you did. You did play it. And you won. They will sing songs of your valor and of how you saved me from the Serpent. They will sings songs about me- The angel who put duty before love. They will sing about us. The valiant Archangel and the truthful Seraphim. Imagine the pleasures of the singers. Father must be so proud."

You turned around and you watched him stand his ground. His face bore no snark, no happiness. If anything, it bore a sliver of shame.

"I'm not."

He took a step towards you as he took your hands in his. 

"I did not want to do this. I did not want to put you in this position," he practically pleaded, "I am not proud of what I have done. But if you gave me the choice right now to undo what I did, I wouldn't undo a single thing."

You turned to walk away, but his grip on your arms did not falter a bit, locking you in place. The smallest bit of panic seized you as memories of the Cage came back. There were no Angels or guards here or outside. The two of you were alone. You closed your eyes, waiting.

* * *

The old, wrinkled hands ran among the delicate silk as they watched. Clotho sat at her spindle, weathered fingers working at the delicate threads of life as her sisters watched. Her pale white hair stood against her dark complexion and complimented her white robes as she worked. Atropos sat at her feet, fiery red hair falling down her waist, the pale skin underneath wasted, standing out against her fine robes. Opposite to them, Lachesis sat with the wall, hair as black as night messed up against her face as she stared blankly at the wall. Her sunkissed skin looked ghostly in the darkness,

"What do you see, Lachesis?"

Atropos spoke softly, her voice barely audible as she watched her other sister lean back against the wall, eyes turning white. The room fell silent but for the sounds of the spindle. Clotho and Atropos watched her expressions change, the lines on her face become deeper as she raised an accusing finger.

"What is he playing at?"

The sound of metal being honed against stone broke through the silence as Lachesis snapped out of her vision. Atropos had brushed aside her tresses from her face and had picked up the abhorred shears, sharpening them as she looked on. The old Moirai looked on, thinking for a while as Clotho looked up, hands continuously working her spindle.

"The Morningstar plays a dangerous game Sisters. A game involving way too many threads you have spun, sister. You sharpen those Scissors the best you can Atropos, you never know which threads may be cut. Forgive me Clotho, for I had not foreseen this, but this changes it all. Yet again. Stop with the threads for once, sweet sister. Stop with the threads and spin a wedding gown. A gown finer than one that was ever seen or will ever be seen again."

Clotho let go of her grip on the spindle as she stood up, one hand supporting her hunchback.

"Spin a wedding gown my sister," Lachesis spoke with a mournful smile, "Spin a gown of silk and gold, and sully it with blood."

* * *

A gentle hand on your chest surprised you. You opened your eyes gingerly, only to see Lucifer looking down at you. You were no longer in a room but in Lucifer's heaven. The scent of the finest winter roses was heavy in the air as you felt the chill of the snow around you. His hand was placed directly above your heart as he closed his eyes for a brief second, feeling your heart hammering under his fingertips.

"You feel that Angel. You see what I do to you? I have no intentions of laying a finger on you without your consent but do you not see what I did to you? How I broke you? I feel bad about it- About Gadreel. About what you had to say. But I do not regret it. Every decision I took until now, I would take it again. Because if that stops me from becoming the monster that did all that to you...."

His voice was bitter when he spoke, you could see the fury in his eyes. For the first time since the Garden, when you looked at Lucifer, you did not see the Devil. You saw the Morningstar. And this time, the cold didn't hurt you.

"...I would take all those decisions in a heartbeat again."

You stood there for what felt like a lifetime as he looked at you. Neither of you made an attempt to move. You could see the conflict of your eyes mirrored in his.

"Gadreel....."

"...would have died one way or another," Lucifer completed, stepping slightly closer, "I happen to believe this death is cleaner than being skinned alive. I am sorry but I would rather have it this was than that. You're not the only one scared because of those visions. The thought of what I'd become. Of what all I'd be capable of doing to you...."

"Lucifer."

You watched him look at you cupped his face. Was it really his fault? You saw the fear in his eyes just as you had seen in Gadreel's. You didn't know who had been the one to initiate it. You didn't remember leaning forward, meeting him halfway as he pressed his lips to yours- consensual for the first time. You felt tears on your face- You didn't know whom they were from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um....thoughts?


	29. Regret

You stood face to face with the figure in front of you, the fierce gold eyes staring right back at you. You had never seen her before in your life, but it took no more than a second to recognize her.

"Atropos.."

You looked at the Fate seated in front of you, her gold and white robes standing out against her wasted pale skin. Her fiery red hair provided a shocking contrast to her appearance. The Moirai sat up straight, looking at you silently as she extended a wrinkled finger to beckon you forward. Thoughtlessly, you near stumbled forward and sunk down to your knees in front of her as you looked up at her. When she spoke, her voice was taut.

"The moment you were created your fate was sealed. The thread of your fate had just spun itself it seemed."

The faint reflection of light against metal caught your eyes as you noticed the iron shears near her waist. The shears with which Atropos cut the threads if everyone's destiny and life. Clotho started your existence, Lachesis continued it and Atropos ended it with the instrument you were currently looking at.

You flinched as the bony hand tilted your head up by your chin.

"I saw it with my own eyes. How connected your fate is to the Morningstar's. How intertwined the treads of your destiny are. It was almost spontaneous. And irreversible. Clotho tried, but even she couldn't separate them. And it made sense. The thread of your fate started with the Morningstar and it will end with him. And for you, your fate will never change. Past, present or future. You will always be his...."

A tired smile from the Moirai was the last thing you remembered before you woke up.  


* * *

The grass felt cool under your feet as you walked through the garden. The gate had been left open since the fall. The garden deserted. The last you had been here, your brother had been alive. Adam and Eve had dwelled in the Garden. Heaven was at peace.

The Garden had turned wild since, the bushes overgrown, the vines hanging from the trees, the grass growing taller every day. You walked silently through the undergrowth, your path illuminated by the moonlight in the middle of pitch darkness.

You paused for a moment, closing your eyes, and you could almost see it. It seemed like a lifetime ago that you and Gadreel had played in this Garden as cherubs. 

________________________________________

_The vision seemed almost true. The young cherub stumbling her way across the garden as she laughed, her (h/c) hair messed up and cheeks red, hands clutching her white dress. Her brother, slightly older, running behind her, panicked, shouting._

_"(y/n) you come here this very second. I will not mend another broken wing of yours."_

_She stuck her tongue out at him and continued to run as he sighed and closed his eyes, only to start running as he heard a splash of water. Her hair were slick against her face as she shouted for help, struggling to stay above the surface of the water._

_"Oh Father...."_

_A strong pair of hands pulled her up from the small pool as she cried, holding on to her brother while he hugged her. His hands stroked her hair lovingly, soft blue eyes reassuring her as he spoke as softly as possible._

_"Hey. Hey. It's OK. It's OK. You're not hurt. Nothing can ever hurt my Angel till I'm around. OK? OK."_  
  
________________________________________

_"I thought you'd tell them the truth and you lied."_

__You remembered the shock on Gadreel's face as you had pronounced him guilty. The panic in his voice. One word from you had been his death sentence. He had raised you. He had healed you. He had helped trained you. He had loved you. You, in turn, had killed him. The glassy blue eyes that had always spelt home for you.

"Do you regret it?"

You turned around, eyes meeting the ice blue ones in front of yours as you stood face to face with Lucifer. His face and hair looked almost white in the moonlight as he looked at you. He wasn't dressed in his usual white robes, you noticed. For once, it seemed, like he didn't want anyone to know about this meeting. You couldn't even begin to imagine why.

"What do you want?"

"I know what you're thinking Angel. It should've been me. Not your brother."

You remained stoic. Lucifer let out a soft sigh before looking over his shoulder. The Garden was as deserted as it had been when you had entered. Seeing that, he turned back, taking a step forward till the two of you were just in front of him.

"If you go to Father now, he still won't doubt you. He will still believe you. If you go to Father now, he will still cast me out. You will be forgiven, and it will all be as it was supposed to be. It won't bring Gadreel back but it will still be something.Something that I deserve. Angel, I won't stop you from that today. But...... Can I ask you for a favour?"

The Morningstar took another step forward, holding your hands between his own as he locked eyes with you. You felt something cold brush against the flesh of your hand as you looked down.

The blade in your hand was the most ornate you had ever seen, with a helical guard grip and guard fashioned from the finest steel, a sky blue crystal encrusted in the pommel, It was no ordinary blade.

It was an Archangel blade.

You looked back up at Lucifer, as he gently put the blade's grip between your fingers and guided your hand up, eyes locked with you. The smile on his face was faint, a mere sliver compared to the sadness in his eyes. His hands were trembling just slightly, but his face gave away no hints of nervousness. He finally stopped, one hand falling back as the fingers of the other gently wrapped around your wrist. The blade in your hand was now perfectly positioned such that the tip of his blade was just above his heart. His life was in your hands.

"If you regret your decision, I would rather die by your hands than fall and end up hurting you."

Looking at Lucifer, it was at that moment that it all made sense. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mad props to the wonderful mmaniele1029 for her life saving suggestions. Labyu <3
> 
> Also, sorry for my hiatus.  
> Thoughts?


End file.
